Why Get Engaged?

Every time I scroll through my facebook newsfeed, it is nothing but engagement announcements or baby pictures. Either all my friends are getting boring or I’m am just behind on life. As I congratulate my friends on their engagements and scream about their 1–2–3-whatever size carat diamond, I am pretty much angry. I’m not jealous. I just no longer have the same relationship expectations.

When I was 15 years old and even 20 years old, my girlfriends and I would daydream about the perfect engagement ring. We would click through Tiffany’s website and select “The Ring” and made sure we knew each other’s style, so that we would share this information to each other’s future boyfriend. That was before Pinterest.

But as I got older, I became younger, like when I was 5, questioning everything, the norm, the roots, the assumptions.

1. Why do we need engagements? Why do we need to pre-celebrate the wedding?

This is just screaming for attention and giving more reason to spend money “showering” the bride and groom. I understand the need to progress the relationship and perhaps get into a better tax bracket, but that just means you need a marriage certificate. DUH!

2. Why is it always the man deciding when to propose? Shouldn’t this be an open adult conversation and not a surprise event?

You won’t believe how many girls out there who are stressted out and waiting/begging for their signicant others to pop the question. The typical…“Jack and I are doing well, I just don’t know when he is going to pop the question”. Why does he have control of when YOU are getting married? This should be an open discussion, where you review each other’s life goals, baby timelines, financial overview, sexual needs, etc.

3. Why is it that the female in the relationship wears an engagement ring and the male does not?

If I’m going to wear something that shows I’m about to get married or am married, then my significant other better be wearing that too. Here is a brutal history about rings from Reader’s Digest .

“Pre-History: The caveman tied cords made of braided grass around his chosen mate’s wrists, ankles, and waist, to bring her spirit under his control…

2nd Century BC: According to Pliny the Elder, the groom gives the bride first a gold ring to wear during the ceremony and at special events, then an iron ring to wear at home, signifying her binding legal agreement to his ownership of her.

1st Century BC: Puzzle rings first appear in Asia, where sultans and sheiks use them to tag each of their wives.”

To my future husband, I don’t need an engagement, but you better have a great financial advisor. Just kidding. Not really.