5 Diplomatic Ways to Call Someone a D**k
The thing about people is that a lot of them are really annoying. In fact, some behave in a way that’s so infuriating or destructive that it can make you want to throw every insult in your vocabulary at them.
But of course, unloading a barrage of expletives on a problematic individual will only create more of a tense or adversarial situation. So I’m going to teach you how to call out twatty behaviour in a way that keeps your language clean - and your adversary probably feeling a tiny bit thick. (which is always quite satisfying too)
Myopic
This lovely sounding word is actually pretty insulting, as it describes someone or an act as having a lack of foresight and creativity.
E.g. "Not developing his team members' IT skills was myopic, given the ever-increasing need for digital literacy to increase sales."
So, if someone has a narrow-minded or shortsighted perspective on something, please go ahead and merrily call their stance 'myopic.' From the Greek word 'myopes' meaning 'closed eye,' it’s an insult - but crucially, not an explicit burn.
Derivative
The best insults are ones which sound pretty blunt - but this one sounds decidedly complimentary. And while it may have a soft and oddly complimentary tone, it’s one of the most damning assessments of a person’s thinking or work. To describe something as ‘derivative’ is to call it an unimaginative or recycled imitation of a superior and original idea. (think something deriving from something else)
E.g. "Many labelled Stone Temple Pilots' debut album derivative (particularly of Pearl Jam’s first album), but by their second album, they had proved their music was in fact the opposite - innovative and highly original."
Recalcitrant
A firm favourite of teachers to describe misbehaving students, recalcitrant (from the French word meaning ‘kicking out with the heels’) is a word meaning an uncooperative and rebellious attitude toward discipline.
Ultimately, it’s a fairly safe and sterile way of calling a trouble maker a giant pain in the ass. Managers often use this little gem to describe employees who won’t tow the line, but in a way that doesn’t ruffle their feathers too assertively.
Divisive
This is a great word to describe someone demonstrating an attitude or an idea that splits opinion which often results in hostility or controversy. E.g. "Their anti-woke and outdated opinions on immigration seemed deliberately divisive."
At times it’s good to be divisive, in order to challenge established or anachronistic ideas and to bring about necessary change, but when you’re faced with a major knob head trying to stir up trouble or controversy purely for attention or effect, this is a handy politically correct beatdown.
Intransigent
The final word in this blog is possibly my favourite PC insult. ‘Intransigent’ is a very grand, softly-toned word which basically means stubborn: a quality many feel is an admirable trait, but one I find deeply frustrating, unproductive and rarely worth the energy. From the Latin word ’Transigere' (originating from the Spanish word 'transigentes’) intransigent is a way of characterising someone who will belligerently fight for their cause even at the cost of common sense or other people’s feelings.
So there you have it - 5 ways to deliver a hefty smackdown but retain your diplomacy and professionalism.
Check out more of my blogs on words, phrases and the general joy of language here.
