A Pedophile Among Us
Gary Goddard’s Grooming Of Anthony Edwards And Other Young Santa Barbara Actors
I like millions of others read Anthony Edwards moving and heart wrenching story of his abuse at the hands of his “mentor, teacher and friend”, Gary Goddard. I applaud Tony for continuing to work through his abuse and thankful to him for bringing awareness to millions of the evil sickness of pedophilia through his story. How many more young actors from our hometown of Santa Barbara were “groomed” and abused by Gary? (Groomed/Grooming is a term often used to describe the befriending and establishing of an emotional connection with a child to lower the child’s inhibitions with the object of sexual abuse.)
I read Gary’s statement denying “the allegations” with disbelief. How could he deny the truth? How could he call Tony a liar? That’s it for me. I cannot allow Gary to continue sweeping his abuses under the carpet. I know of Gary’s abuses first hand, because Gary too abused me as a young actor, and I know of many others. The theatre community in Santa Barbara and in particular the junior high school theatre programs provided an endless supply of young and vulnerable victims for Gary. By assisting the junior high school theatre teacher with her productions, Gary an 18 year old high school student was able to initiate contact with us beginning when we were just 13 years old. Over time he would build the trust necessary with our parents and ourselves to take us to movies, restaurants, plays, and eventually overnight trips out of town. Pedophiles are patient and clever and know that love and trust are key to their conquest. They prey on many kids and then over time determine which are the most vulnerable. Then under the guise of love and trust they strike their young prey. While the abuses by Gary vary by individual, there is one common denominator; Gary used his position, his friendship, his role as mentor and big brother to take advantage of young and vulnerable teens through molestation and in some cases this involved rape.
Tony and I were a part of a group of young actors who grew up in Santa Barbara. While my group of buddies and I are five years older than Tony and his gang, our stories are virtually the same. We are victims at the hands of a pedophile. As I read Tony’s essay about his horrifying experience, I could not help but think that it was I that had written that essay. That was my life. I did not write the essay though, Tony did. Thank you Tony. Thank you for your courage in bringing this to the public stage which is now helping me and hopefully others confront our own abuse by Gary, as well as those still struggling with their abuse in silence and fear.
Many years ago in 1990 one of my buddies made a very emotional revelation to all of us that some seventeen years earlier, as a young teenager, he had been raped by Gary. I cannot begin to convey the shock, pain and sorrow I felt and continue to feel for my friend, nor the anger I felt toward Gary for committing such a horrendous act. None of us had ever shared the details of our own abuses by Gary, until that evening. After learning of the rape, the flood gates opened and we all shared our own stories at the hands of Gary, which we had each kept secret for so many years. To learn for the first time that I was not alone was as though a thousand tons was lifted from my shoulders. And for the first time my friends and I could talk openly to each other about our own abuse.
Angered by learning of the rape of our friend and realizing the extent of Gary’s abuse, and empowered by our love and friendship for each other we confronted Gary that evening about the rape of our friend. Like his statement to Tony in the airport in 1994, he apologized and promised that he had changed his ways. Of course we were naïve, we did not understand pedophilia and nothing changed. We all went on with our lives.
For me, I continued to work for Gary’s entertainment company for another six years. Why would I do that? Why would I continue to have anything to do with my abuser? Unless you have been abused it is almost impossible to understand the power a pedophile has over his victims. In fact it’s difficult even for the abused to understand. Only now through talking with my friends and co-victims, reading materials produced by some great organizations, and my own research some 40+ years after my abuse, am I able to begin to understand the power a pedophile has over his victims. And yes that power can continue for years after the abuse.
Many years have again passed and while I have dealt with my own abuse privately and have been blessed with a wonderfully supportive and loving wife of 38 years and five incredible kids, I feel a deep remorse for not having done something more about Gary years ago. The thought that my silence may have enabled or contributed to Gary’s continuing abuse of kids like Tony, Bret, Scott and many others is the most troubling for me. May God and those silent kids forgive me.
It is not solely for Tony’s sake, my sake, or the sake of Gary’s other Santa Barbara victims that I now reveal my own abuse. It is because I cannot imagine any kid having to go through what I went through, what Tony and the others went through at the hands of Gary as young teens. To be pursued and abused by a lying pedophile whom you had thought was your dearest friend, your big brother, your mentor, your protector, whom you loved, is devastating, horrific, and so evil. Unfortunately, like Tony’s group of friends, our group also stayed quiet about the abuse as do most victims of pedophiles. That needs to change.
Now with Tony having come forward, those of us who have lived through the darkness and silence of abuse at the hands of a pedophile, need to do more to expose this evil epidemic. It is estimated that every pedophile can abuse hundreds of victims throughout their lifetime and the majority of cases go unreported. Gary is just one of many.
I am hopeful that by bringing this type of abuse into the public forum, we can educate parents and young people about child predators, and find ways in which to effectively address this growing problem and protect our young and vulnerable.
I acknowledge it would be much easier and less painful to keep our secrets to ourselves and do nothing. But what then of the young victims who are currently being preyed upon? What if my own grand children fell victim to this abuse? Silence is no longer an option for me. I encourage victims and parents to reach out to organizations that educate and counsel victims, families and the public on pedophilia and child molestation. Get involved.
Tony, thank you for you honesty and courage. Please know that your friends (and fellow victims) from Santa Barbara stand with you and together we will confront this evil. We shall not allow the crimes of these pedophiles to continue unabated.
Silence and Fear will be overcome by Love and Truth. We will bring Light to the Darkness.
I recommend everyone view the film An Open Secret that captures the truth about what we have experienced and what is really happening in Hollywood and beyond. https://medium.com/@anopensecretdocumentary. Dr. Oz produced a segment on Gary Goddard and the abuse allegations: https://vimeo.com/325977195
