Mental health deserves a Slack status, too.
I created space for my mental health at work, and you can too.
2:44 pm
My mind stares blankly at my monitor, racing loudly.
My heart beats faster than it has during any mile I’ve ever run.
I wait.
I wait for my mind to silence itself
I wait for my body to turn around and realize that the only thing behind me is McGuire, holding a La Croix and wearing a merino wool sweater, and not a lion.
3:16 pm
There are no additional checks on my to-do list because I am still waiting for this anxiety attack to be over.
I laugh, smile, and resume “business as usual” on the outside while, on the inside, my mind prioritizes the urgent fear above the blog post I have yet to review.
3:46 pm
This attack is over, and my work is not.
I’ll get here tomorrow an hour early to make up for it, I decide.
7:10 am
The office is empty.
My fingers are freed from the accelerating heartbeat of the day before.
I’m making up for the lost time I was too ashamed to admit to losing in the first place.
2:43 pm
I wait for it all to begin again.
This is not what anxiety looks like in the workplace. This is what anxiety feels like in the workplace.
Anxiety looks like a productive employee diligently working at her computer.
Anxiety looks like an employee arriving to work an hour early, alone, unseen, to make up for the hour at her computer she spent having an anxiety attack and looking like she was diligently working at her computer.
In the workplace, anxiety is not seen.
In the workplace, anxiety is not spoken.
In the workplace, anxiety is experienced. And just like a migraine or broken leg, it deserves to be spoken to and nurtured as if it was a broken leg or migraine.
The weight of anxiety magnifies when you attempt to hide it. What is an otherwise evolutionary and natural experience becomes something shameful, something to silence and wake up early to make up for.
Bearing the weight of an anxiety I was too afraid to name at work, I finally decided to give it a name. To bring my full self to Webflow, I needed to wear my anxiety on my sleeve — so I did.
I initiated this cultural change over none other than… Slack. I was too embarrassed to have this conversation in person.
And where did this embarrassment come from? Well, the minute I tell someone I have anxiety, I immediately notice the glaze over their eye that indicates a new lens they’re seeing me through. I’m seen in relation to my anxiety. I’m either not anxious, or anxious, or somewhere in between. They’re always wondering if you’re “okay”, or if “today is a good day,” forgetting that it is all relative.
I’m not something to fix — and my anxiety is not either. It’s just a merino wool sweater mistaken for a lion.
So, back to the all-important Slack message.
I decided to make my boss aware of what I was going through and proposed my solution: an adjusted work schedule that would accommodate a break, as necessary, to step out of the office and acknowledge, sit with, and embrace my anxiety should it make an appearance at my desk.
Rather than feeling anxious about feeling anxious and looking anxious and, worse, acting anxious, I would simply be anxious. I would walk with it, I would give it what it craved: physical activity. I would spend my 2:44 to 3:46 pm walking, running, biking, swimming, and whatever else my body could do to give my mind a rest and embrace the physical symptoms of anxiety.
My boss replied simply: “of course.”
And suddenly, the weight of my anxiety in all of its secrecy and shame lightened with two words. The embarrassment and fear was overcome with one strong, powerful, and unmistakable emotion: pride. I was proud to work for a company that prioritizes the health of its employees: physical and mental.
For 22 years, I’ve been living with anxiety and have not failed a class, missed a practice, slept through an alarm, or missed a deadline. I have, however, lost several hours waiting for anxiety attacks to be over. I have spent many hours arriving early, alone, to make up for the waiting.
I’ve been living and working with anxiety for 22 years, and speaking the word aloud would not change that.
2:44 pm
My body is being chased by an invisible lion and my mind is blind to the deck in front of me, as it should be, in a life or death situation of being chased by a lion. Amirite?
Last week, I regretted this mind of mine. It wasn’t doing what it was supposed to… at 2:44 pm… PST.
2:44 pm (this week)
My mind is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. Imagining a freaking lion behind me and forgetting it’s just McGuire, a La Croix, and a merino wool sweater. My mind is working for and taking care of me, and I’m now doing the same.
Slack status: “Mental health recharge. Back online in an hour (black girl running emoji).”
Business as usual.
This is my story of starting a conversation about mental health in the workplace, and providing space for different forms of mental health.
My mental health is important and deserves to be spoken. Yours does too. To avoid burnout, remember that no job is more important, or long-lasting, than your well-being.
As an employee, it is your responsibility to create working conditions that prepare you for success. As an employer, it is your responsibility to provide these working conditions.
I hope, whether you’re suffering from an explicit mental health disorder or merely having an off day, you feel empowered to ask for what you need to take care of yourself.
This will, as I have seen within my own company, empower others to do the same, and ultimately raise the bottom line for any team.
I hope, that soon enough, it will be as acceptable for employees to take the day off because “depression is rearing its ugly head” as it is for them to take the day off because of the flu.
I want to thank my team at Webflow for being the most supportive, understanding, and encouraging throughout this process.
I’d also like to thank my mind, for performing miracles each and everyday, and apologize for the things I said between 2:44 and 3:46 pm.
Above all else, I want to thank Slack and Slack statuses. You da real mental health MVP.
If you want to talk more about how I started the conversation, or even just learn more about how you can support members of your team, please reach out! I don’t have all of the answers, but I have escaped an invisible lion once or twice, so I know a few things :)
