The Indomitable Spirit of Jon Gruden
The Scene: Philadelphia PA, November 11th 2014. The temperature dipped just below the 50’s as the sun set on the City of Brotherly Love. The Carolina Panthers were in town, and smiles were abound as locals from all walks of life joined together for their weekly pre-game ritual of grilled meats and Bud Light. It was Monday Night Football, a spectacle of violence and grandeur as American as apple pie itself.
By game-time Lincoln Financial Field was a madhouse. The Eagles sat atop the NFC East and looked to defend the home turf against the Panthers, who were led by the always formidable Cam Newton. Along with the fans in Philly, somewhere in the neighborhood of 13 million people were watching the telecast, accompanied by commentary from the usual crew of Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden.
In the end, the boozy Philly faithful rejoiced as the Eagles came out on top in a 45–21 walloping of the visiting Panthers. The Eagles’ D came up big, sacking Cam Newton a whopping nine times, and Matt Sanchez of all people threw for 332 yards and two scores to secure the W. As the game ran into the 4th quarter, attention began to fade as a comeback from Carolina became less and less likely. Those with jobs to be at in the morning began to slowly trickle out of the stadium, however little did they know the best action of the night was about to take place in the very stadium they were leaving.
In the press booth, Mike Tirico watched in horror as one of the most bizarre segments in NFL broadcasting history unfolded before his very eyes. His co-commentator — the endlessly entertaining Jon Gruden — was armed with a blender, and began shoving various fruits and protein powders into the concoction as Tirico struggled to pass off the segment as a bit about player’s nutrition. America watched in amazement as Gruden seductively undressed a banana, an obvious tongue-in-cheek reference to “Spider 2 Y-Banana”. For the unaware, “Spider 2 Y-Banana” is a play that features the fullback peeling out into the flat as a receiver, supposedly Gruden’s favorite play and his de-facto catchphrase. Several millions of people had stayed up well past their bedtimes to watch Jon Gruden make banana smoothies on live television. What?
While the casual viewer may have been surprised, shocked or even outright dumbfounded, those familiar with Gruden’s shtick know moments of absurdity such as this to be the norm. On a weekly basis Gruden pushes the boundaries of sports broadcasting, weaving a tapestry of analysis and commentary so uniquely weird it seems more at home in a David Lynch film.
“His recliner is a treadmill. He eats dinner on a Roman chair while doing abdominal crunches”
“Now he’s a joker jack of all trades”
“You have to be able to listen to the elevator music if you’re a coach down there”
“I like Cooter”
If you think any of these Gruden Quotes make any more sense given some context, you’d probably be mistaken (except for the last one, in which Gruden was referencing current Detroit Lions offensive coordinator Jim Bob Cooter). And although Gruden’s comments oftentimes flirt with incoherence, there’s a certain charm to them. His mannerisms — however unconventional they may be — have grown endearing. In a world of voices that routinely put grown men to sleep, Gruden’s stands out.
Part of what makes his act so intriguing is his genuine love for the game. His father was an assistant at Notre Dame, and from a young age Jon was constantly around football. Despite seeing limited time as a college player — spending 3 years as a backup QB for The University of Dayton — his passion for the game was evident, and soon after he began a coaching career that would culminate in a Super Bowl ring with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He may at times have a roundabout way of expressing it, but the man certainly knows his football. When his career as a coach came to an end in 2009, he began to look for other places to put his talent to use. Within a year Gruden was hired on by ESPN to replace the acerbic Tony Kornheiser as the color commentator for Monday Night Football, a job he continues to hold to this very day.
Alongside the likes of Kramer and Tobias Fünke in the hall of great television goofballs, there is usually a straight-man character; firmly grounded in reality and quick to point out the quirks of their comedic counterparts. Although Monday Night Football isn’t exactly a sitcom, Gruden’s old co-host Mike Tirico played the archetype to a T. Tirico got his start on ESPN’s SportsCenter in the early 90's, and has since become somewhat of a commentary virtuoso. When Gruden was hired on as the color man for Monday Night football in ’09, the chemistry between the two was instantly noticeable.
As the play-by-play announcer, Tirico’s borderline deadpan delivery provided the perfect compliment to Gruden’s on-air antics. Particularly ludicrous comments by Gruden are often followed by a momentary silence, as Tirico stands baffled and attempts to find a way to associate his co-commentators ramblings with the on-field action. The results are as intriguing as they are humorous, and in the end Tirico proves to be a worthy guide through Jon Gruden’s free association style of color commentary.
The beauty of Gruden’s on-air work is amplified when considering the alternatives that other broadcasting crews offer. The likes of Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth are no doubt skilled, but come off as bland when compared to a Gruden/Tirico combo. Phil Simms at times struggles to put together a complete sentence, which seems suspect given 95% of his job revolves around talking. Even outside of football commentary, you’d be hard-pressed to find a crew with a particular blend of style and substance that Gruden and Tirico have; with just enough knowledge of the game to stay insightful while still maintaining entertainment value.
Naturally, myself and many other Monday Night Football viewers were dismayed when ESPN announced earlier this year that Mike Tirico would be leaving the network for CBS, supposedly due to contract issues between the two sides. I wasn’t alive 1970, but I assume the feeling of emptiness I felt afterwards was similar to the one many felt after The Beatles broke up. Tirico’s replacement, broadcasting vet Sean McDonough, is undoubtedly talented, but still has yet to prove himself as a worthy sparring partner to Gruden. Perhaps the duo is simply getting to know each other, but with every Monday Night Steelers/Redskins blowout that goes by time on the trial period runs thin.
Gruden is currently under contract to serve as the color commentator for Monday Night Football until 2021, but like a drunken barfly on their nightly stumble home it is impossible to predict where Gruden will actually end up. The verdict is still out on the new Monday night tandem of Gruden and McDonough, and if things go south a shake-up may not be entirely out of the question. Even if he does remain with ESPN, will he continue to shock and captivate the viewing public in his signature manner? or will he tone down his signature style as he enters his later years? Perhaps even a return to coaching may be in order as many have speculated, if there’s one thing I know about Jon Gruden it’s that he’s certainly unpredictable.
In any case, we can only sit back and appreciate Gruden for the unicorn that he is; a delightfully bizarre creature in a world otherwise mundane. Will we have Gruden forever? Probably not. Until then I certainly know where I’ll be Monday nights for the foreseeable future. The question is, do you?
