Why I hate puppies and you should too.
I know you think I’m evil.
I know you think I’m wrong.
I know you think you’re righteous and correct.
But all you’ve done is read a headline. What do you really know about me and my opinion on puppies?
Is this headline all you need to know about me?
If you answered yes, you’re probably an arsehole … and you probably voted for Trump.
Here’s why:
Judging someone based on 8–15 words without giving them the courtesy of reading the complete article, or at the very least the first 200 words, is a cornerstone of ignorance.
Failing to listen to other people’s opinions, understand different points of view and cross-check them with facts and your own opinions is what lead to this:

That’s right, a rise in ignorance leads to the rise of fear mongering, world leaders like Trump.
It also leads to a rise in racism, violence, sexism and bigotry of all kinds. So why not hear me out on why I don’t like puppies?
But alas, what if this is fake news? How would you even know?
Well, there would only be one way to find out:
read it and formulate an option.
Like a puppy, news can not be taken on face value.
Obviously, everyone loves puppies on face value.
They’re flippin’ adorable!
But beyond their inherent cuteness, which I acknowledge is hard to overlook, what do puppies actually offer?
They piss on everything,
They shit on everything.
They bark … constantly.
And it’s not even a good bark; it’s a high-pitched yelp.
The kind of annoying squeal that puts your mum in a bad mood and makes her say something she’ll regret like:
“Jon Snowball, shut that dog up and clean your damned room!”
Puppies are needy, excitable, and always wanting more!
They eat your shoes,
chew your pillows,
ruin your peaceful movie night,
But then again, they’re cute.
But then again, again, they can make your mum love you less by abusing their inherent cuteness.
Basically,
having a puppy is not dissimilar to inviting a homeless person into your house. They eat your food, shit in your backyard, steal your mum’s attention, and give you no thanks in return.
Think of that on a daily basis!
Why would you put yourself through that?
For these reasons, I hate puppies and you should too.
But don’t let me tell you what to think. Formulate your own opinion by reading and understanding the difference between facts and the opinions.
Note: facts inform opinions, opinions don’t inform facts!
Here’s a link to help out you ignoramuses: how to formulate an opinion
So is this fake news? Do puppies suck? Should you hate puppies too?
Well, it’s up to you.
In my opinion , a puppies cuteness has to compensate for too many of their annoying features.
But let’s not jump to conclusions.
If you’ve made it this far through my little article, well done. I like you.
Take some time to think about my opinion of puppies, then, if you choose, let it help you formulate your own opinion, for or against my argument.
Now share your new found knowledge, understand other points of view, have empathy, and make the world a better place!
p.s: of course I like puppies, you dingus. It’s not the point.
