Thanks for writing this Will. This validates my choices in a way that perhaps only someone like yourself would know.
Let’s start with, I graduated high school early. I was homeschooled from the latter part of elementary school on through to the end. I loved the freedom to get my school work done early in, so that I could get to my real passion, programming, but I hated having to get it out of the way.
As well, I taught myself the majority of the required subjects, since my parents both worked two jobs at various times in my education. Tiring of all of it, I set forward a plan to get the hell out of there.
When I graduated high school I did try my hand at a technical school, which I enjoyed, but I was in too much of a hurry to really settle into it, had left home for the first time in my life, and was afraid the Internet would pass me up before I even got started. I was sixteen, sheltered, and I didn’t know how things really worked in the world so I dropped out.
I’m 41 now and have had a long mostly fruitful career in this field that I chose. Yet, through the years that I’ve spent muscling my way through the morass of the industry by sheer force of will, I’ve felt like I missed something key: I missed all the little things a self taught person doesn’t often learn on their own; I didn’t get any consoling on the best ways to leverage my talent in abstractions; I missed vital relationships and career advice that I could have received; and probably much more.
I started to remedy that several years ago by dipping my toes into a local community college. My formal education had become so rusty that I had to start in sub 101 classes to get back to par on the basics. That scared the hell out of me, but it also opened up this deep well of joy in learning for me.
Then I had to discontinue my studies in order to move my family across the country for work and it felt like I was abandoning my education all over again.
That stops now.
One of the things that surprised me, when I enrolled the first time, was how much I enjoyed writing and math. I wasn’t sure where I was going from there, but I knew those subjects would be a focus of mine. I’ve since started to hone my writing for fun at home, fleshing out experimental short stories, writing poetry, and so on. I also decided that quantum physics is a thing which I really get.
This spring I’m going back to college. My work will cover most of the cost and I can do it part time. I’m joining my two oldest children which I think is kind of special. My goal is a PhD somewhere in the quantum field with a focus on computational applications, a Masters in Mathematics, and a healthy dose of learning to write in various forms.
Many of my peers, friends, and family wonder why I’m going back to college now, so late in the game: I don’t need it for my career after all. It’s hard to describe wanting to go for the sheer desire to learn. I write all this, because I think you understand this desire perfectly right now.
You are not stupid, you have a lot of people that look up to you — the you you’ve become, not just the you of past stardom. I wish you all the best on your journey. You’ve got this!
