A Practical Guide to Dilation

Through a lot of hard work and maybe a little bit of luck and possibly a lot of cash, you’ve found yourself in possession of a brand new neovagina. Congratulations! I wish you joy in the future and lots of fun putting things into your new body orifice, once the doctor clears that kind of activity. There is one thing you’ll be putting into that vagina though, a lot, for the next few months: your medical dildo.

You should have gotten your set of medical dildos at the post-operative visit. You need to use them to dilate your neovagina because it doesn’t have an organ attached to the other end, so your body will try to close it up if it can. Like a piercing, you need to convince your body that this new orifice is here to stay, and you do that by dilating.

Every doctor has a different schedule for dilation; mine says to dilate three times a day for ten minutes. That might not seem like a lot but as you’ll find out soon, dilating isn’t a pleasurable activity, and doing it three times a day means I’m doing it once every 8 hours. It’s a decent amount of work.

I didn’t get a lot of instruction on dilating, just the basic “put it here and push” in the office, so I thought it would be nice to have some practical instructions on dilating for new owners of neovaginas.

What you will need:

  • Four sheets of paper towels — I use square ones, but I think the long thin ones will work okay too.
  • Dilator a.k.a. medical dildo
  • Hand mirror
  • Water-based lube — I use Surgilube, because I could order it in a box of 12 tubes off Amazon. Some people use K-Y.
  • Hand sanitizer — you know, like Purell. I recommend unscented.
  • Disposable underpads — These are called “Chux” for some reason by anyone familiar with them. I use ones from Dynarex because they’re on Amazon and they seem to work fine. Get some big enough so you can put your ass on and won’t worry about sliding off an edge.
  • Baby wipes — any kind that you don’t mind putting on your cooter
  • A Maxipad


Find yourself a nice spot with enough space to lie flat and some room on one side for your equipment, that you either won’t be disturbed in or you don’t care if the people who you’d see get a front-row show to your vagina. Put out the Chux and strip — yes everything — and plant that butt right in the middle of the pad. Bend your knees and spread your legs. You want easy access to that vagina. Put the mirror next to your hips or on your belly.

Use the hand sanitizer on your hands. In general you want to maybe do that every time you touch your new vulva, too. Sanitizer is handy because it doesn’t need water to work and is quick.

Time to lube up your dildo. Separate one of the paper towels and put the dildo on it. Squeeze some lube along the length of it on the top, about as far as you expect to go in. You’ll get a good idea of how much that is as you go. Now roll the dildo around, holding it by its clean end, using the paper towel to spread around the lube all around its circumference. Pick it up by the non-lubed end.


It’s time to get that dildo into your vagina. Pick up the mirror and get a good look at your new vulva. Fascinating, isn’t it? That’s all yours. It might look a bit disgusting for the first month or so. It’s all swollen now but it’ll look better in a few weeks, I promise.

Take your lubed-up dilator and put it into your vagina, using the mirror to help you guide it. The first inch or two of the vagina, you need to get under your hip bone, so it might help to start at a downward angle. Once you’re past that you should try to go straight in. My vagina is pretty open near the vulva but it’s a bit harder to get in once I’m partway in, I have to push a little more. Put it in until you feel some resistance — you’ll feel pretty full down there and uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t hurt.

How far did you get in? I was told not to worry too much about depth in the first three months, because it doesn’t really settle and there’s nothing you can do about it anyway except screw it up. In the first weeks I had something between 3–4 dots visible outside the vagina. On my dilators, there are 5 dots — the first dot is 3.5 in past the tip, so you can do the math based on the dots outside the vagina.


Okay you’ve got the dilator into your vagina, now all you have to do is keep it in there for a while. This is the part that most people talk about, because it takes the most time out of the whole process, especially once you get used to getting to getting ready and putting something into your vagina.

Holding your dilator in is going to take one hand constantly, because you have to hold that pressure that you established when you inserted. Hopefully you have some entertainment running while you wait. Usually I have some YouTube queued up or a Netflix binge running. Just be a little careful with funny content, laughing with a dilator in your vagina is a little unpleasant.

Start your timer, and wait it out. My timer starts at 10 minutes, but some surgeons I’ve heard have a 25 or 30 minute timer. Whatever amount, this is the longest timer of your day, and time goes the slowest while you’re holding this thing in your vagina.


Eventually that timer will ding, and you can slowly and carefully take the dildo out of your vagina. That feels pretty good, doesn’t it? There’s a bunch of stuff from inside on there, mixed with the lube that you put on there. Time to clean up.

Use one of your paper towels to wipe it off, which will leave you with a kinda-clean dilator. Then holding the dilator in one hand and with another paper towel underneath, squeeze some of the hand sanitizer onto your dilator and spread it around with your hand. Then use the paper towel you used to catch the excess sanitizer to wipe off your dilator. It should be pretty clean at this point.

Now you can clean up yourself. You probably already leaked a bunch onto the chux pad that you laid down, but you have some more leaking and cleaning to do. Using the baby wipes, clean off your perineum and surrounding area. Toss that one if you like. Use another baby wipe and probe into your vagina a little ways, You might feel some resistance, but you’ll also pick up a lot of at stuff that would normally drain out later.

Carefully flip over, usually I’m on all fours for a couple minutes, waiting for some more drainage from my vagina. Some drips usually come out and drip onto the chux.. Carefully get back to standing and then step into some panties that you’ll use your maxipad on to continue catching your drippings for the next couple hours or so. Clump up and toss those chux into the trash.

Put away the stuff you haven’t thrown away, and you’re all done! Now you have staved off the closing up of your new vagina for a while.

Only seven and a half hours until you get to do it all over again.

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