The Sex Party

I knew it was coming for months. It was announced more than a month beforehand, and as soon as I got the email I did calendar math to see whether I would miss out. It was close, but I could ask my surgeon the week before at a followup appointment. He gave me the go ahead.

A sex party. It was just a week shy of three months post surgery, but since I usually play with women, I expected it to be a bit less vigorous. Perhaps more importantly communication and consent are built in, so I could stop whenever I felt uncomfortable.

This party in particular had been good to me before, and is explicitly trans inclusive. It was great for me and my friends and I knew a bunch of the girls attending.

Three months before surgery, I attended it for the first time. I ended up sitting frozen in a room with at least twenty women. It could only be described as a massive orgy of the style that you imagine happening in the hedonistic version of hell that’s somehow supposed to be a bad thing. Orgasms were had by all, including me.

I left that party in tears. I knew it was perfect, the best possible night. I just couldn’t get past my dysphoria. My body was wrong, and there was no place it was more clear to me. Anxiety mounted and I could barely function at the end of the night. I don’t know what would have happened if I didn’t have a partner to talk with me and hold me that night, but I will thank her forever for it.

I knew this time would be different. It was certain.

After helping set up because we are the best sex party patrons ever (like all the other girls at this party, seriously) we got to some pleasure. I hadn’t done anything since my masturbatory experiments before, and was a little nervous and a lot excited to see if things could be enjoyable after being celibate for so long.

We met a good friend of ours and claimed a bed. Clothes came off quickly as we moved smoothly into touching, caressing, licking, sucking, and finding those places that make each other moan, scream or gasp and ask for more. My body was locked a bit by the nervous energy but my partner I would give my whole body to with a wink helped and eventually I was writhing with pleasure with her head between my legs.

Sensations that you’ve never experienced before are hard to figure out at first. Receiving cunnilingus was something that I never thought I would have a chance of feeling. It was so far beyond what I dared even imagine would happen in my life. I had tried it so briefly before, and healing and anxiety got in the way of really experiencing anything.

There’s a tongue in your crotch which is touching all the bits that make you feel good. There’s nothing to do about it but lay back and try not to squirm in pleasure as all of your nerves light up at once screaming for attention. It feels warm in a way that I never experienced before. There is a fact that there’s nothing in the way of pleasure, literally in this case. It begins inside.

I would be happy to have someone do that for as long as it took me to get off, I think, but I didn’t know how long that would take, and my “I’m greedy” brain weasels started obstructing my writhing, so I opened my eyes and made the small moves to signal that I was satisfied for now. Returning the favor was the least that I could do.

The rest of the foursome was spent with vibrators passed between lovelies and breasts being flicked and licked and tickled and caressing lovely girls. After we all were satisfied with that, we went our separate ways and explored the rest of the party, which was in full swing at this point.

Walking around completely naked through rooms full of girls of various shapes and sizes felt freeing in exactly the way that the dysphoria was blocking me before. This was a body that I inhabited, and if I wasn’t happy with, was at least something I was willing to present to the world, fully, as mine.

After an hour or so, I hooked up with another girl who was eager to get going. After some initial probing with hands and touches, it was clear that more wanted to happen, and I was eager to give things a try some more. While my brain was screaming “you really don’t have to do this”, I explained that I kind of hadn’t tried out my pussy before tonight. She seemed eager to welcome me to the wonderful world of lesbian sex.

We spent a few minutes searching for a spot that wasn’t taken up by girls in various stages of orgasmic pleasure, and put ourselves down. We were both mostly naked at this point so we started exploring the pleasure points of each other. After a while, I found that she was enthusiastic about inserting fingers. Sometimes I am amazed at the stretch of some women’s vaginas, but I am experienced in the ways of this and she seemed more than pleased.

The receiving end was another story. I was less experienced of course. Having a woman as sexy as hell with her hand down your panties and playing with your clit aggressively was amazing and pleasurable, and having it be a mostly sexual experience let me focus on sensation.

My clit came out somewhat large, but it was also is a bit loose at that point. Aggressive tinkering the way that someone who isn’t holding back was mixing pleasure with pain eventually. After a little while I signaled that it was time to stop, completely satisfied that things worked the way they should be. We vacated the space so that it could be inhabited by more pleasure-seeking individuals.

I went back to the main party space for a little while. People were winding down, and a friend who I knew from the previous incarnation of this party and elsewhere was headed out. The partner I arrived with was long gone by this point, so I asked for a quick ride to the station and she happily obliged.

On the hour train ride home, I basked in the afterglow of so much new experience and excitement for future times. Somehow parts of my life that I could barely fantasize about were reality. It was better than it had ever been before, and was only going to get better from here.

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