An Ode To My Roommate’s Cat

My roommate, Hannah, has fallen ill recently, but she has made a miraculous discovery in the process. Her beloved, lap-sitting morning-vomiter of a cat also sympathy pukes.

“Every time I threw up, she threw up right alongside me,” Hannah told me this morning.

She seriously threw up every time Hannah threw up. Now, I really doubt most cats can muster that kind of empathy, but Grace is one unique specimen.

She is the single most loving cat I know, and I sometimes think she uses people for their laps.

But, recently, Grace has been running away from me. I began feeling distance between us after I accidentally smacked her in the face while I was Wii bowling.

Now when I tell her that she’s a cat, she just looks mad. And when I pick her up, she pushes me away with her front paws.

She still uses me for my lap when Hannah leaves and meow-yells at me for food.

I’m definitely more of a dog person (my dog Jasper is running for president) and Grace’s recent attitude problem has not been helping. I still talk to her about my problems though. Statistically speaking, talking to your roommate’s cat is 23% less crazy than talking to yourself when you’re feeling emotional.

Let me give you a little backstory on why I’m living with this finely-aged 15-year-old cat.

During our freshmen year, Hannah asked if I would mind having a cat live with us. I said I would not, but it’s against our lease and my sister, Morgan (whom we would also be living with) hates cats. (She hates cats, because her old roommate had a cat that she didn’t take care of, so her apartment smelled bad and contained one neglected cat; not because she’s a bad person.)

Hannah agreed not to bring her cat. Until one week I started hearing weird noises coming from behind Hannah’s closed door. I invited myself in one day to discover Grace. Hannah tried to secretly bring and keep a cat in our apartment. Dumb idea.

She told Morgan who accepted Grace on the condition that Hannah clear it with our leasing company.

And thus, Grace was born into my life. She hates Morgan, she tolerates me, and she loves Hannah with all her heart.

I tried to interview Grace for this piece. She let out one inquisitive meow and then refused to comment on any of my following questions.

I hope this article comes as a welcome introduction to this blog seeing as I have and will continue to mention Grace a lot, because she’s annoying af and won’t leave me alone… even when she’s mad at me.

“You’re a cat!” — Me to Grace, two seconds ago

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