In today’s hyperconnected world, social media has become an undeniable force, shaping how we communicate, share, and even perceive ourselves and others.
As a young pastor navigating the complexities of modern ministry, I find myself caught in a love-hate relationship with these platforms — a relationship that has led me to delete and recreate my social media accounts more times than I can count.
I’ve gone through multiple social media detoxes, often feeling the need to step back and re-evaluate my relationship with these digital spaces. This cycle of engagement and withdrawal is fueled by a mix of factors, including my own past experience as a user experience (UX) designer.
I’ve seen firsthand how these platforms are engineered to keep us hooked, and the powerful effects this has on our minds and spirits.
Watching the Netflix documentary The Social Dilemma only deepened my understanding of how social media can manipulate our behavior and intensify this love-hate relationship.
The Love: Connection and Community
One of the undeniable benefits of social media is its power to connect people.
For someone in ministry, this is a game-changer. I can reach out to congregants, share inspirational content, and even provide spiritual guidance to people who might otherwise feel isolated.
During the pandemic, when physical gatherings were restricted, social media became a lifeline. Live-streamed services, virtual cell groups, and online prayer groups allowed us to maintain a sense of community despite being physically apart.
Moreover, social media has provided a platform to share the gospel far beyond the walls of the church. A single post or video can reach thousands, even millions, spreading the message of Christ to those who might never step foot in a church.
This ability to impact lives on such a broad scale is nothing short of amazing. I’ve received messages from people all over the world who found encouragement and hope through something I shared online. It’s moments like these that remind me of the incredible potential of these platforms.
The Hate: Dopamine, Manipulation, and Distraction
Yet, for all the good social media brings, it also presents significant challenges — many of which are deliberately designed into these platforms.
As someone who once worked as a UX designer, I understand the psychology behind these designs. Social media platforms are meticulously engineered to trigger the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, reward, and motivation.
Every time you receive a notification, like, or comment, your brain experiences a small dopamine hit. This creates a cycle of reward and reinforcement that keeps you coming back for more.
The more you engage, the more you’re rewarded, and the harder it becomes to pull away.
The Social Dilemma documentary sheds light on how social media companies use these dopamine-driven strategies to manipulate user behavior. The film reveals that behind every like, share, and notification is an algorithm designed to maximize our screen time, often at the expense of our mental health.
Social media companies profit from our engagement, and they employ some of the brightest minds in psychology and technology to ensure we stay hooked. This manipulation isn’t just about keeping us online longer — it’s about shaping our behavior, our emotions, and even our beliefs.
A study published in Computers in Human Behavior found that social media use is closely linked to dopamine-driven behaviors, similar to those observed in gambling or drug addiction.
The constant seeking of likes and engagement can lead to a dependency where one’s self-worth is tied to these digital interactions.
This isn’t just a matter of spending too much time online; it’s about how that time shapes our thoughts, emotions, and sense of identity.
For me, this manipulation has led to a constant struggle with comparison. It’s easy to scroll through curated feeds and start measuring your life, your ministry, and even your worth against the highlight reels of others.
The constant exposure to the seemingly perfect lives of others can breed discontentment and a sense of inadequacy, even among those who are grounded in their faith.
In addition to the comparison trap, the engineered design of social media can lead to significant distractions. It’s not uncommon to find myself lost in a sea of information, spending far more time than intended scrolling through posts, videos, and articles.
This can detract from time spent in prayer, study, and even face-to-face interactions with those around me.
The irony of social media is that, while it connects us in unprecedented ways, it can also disconnect us from the people and moments that matter most.
These struggles have led me to step away from social media on more than one occasion. Each detox brings a sense of relief and clarity, but it also comes with the challenge of reintegration.
The cycle of deleting and recreating accounts reflects my ongoing attempt to find a healthy balance — a way to harness the positive aspects of social media while protecting my mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Finding Balance: A Biblical and Scientific Perspective
So, how do we navigate this love-hate relationship with social media? I believe the key lies in finding balance, guided by both biblical principles and an understanding of how our brains work.
Firstly, we must remember that our worth is not defined by likes, followers, or the approval of others.
Galatians 1:10 reminds us, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Our identity and value are found in Christ alone, not in the fleeting metrics of social media.
Secondly, we need to guard our hearts against the trap of comparison and be mindful of how dopamine influences our behavior.
Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
This means being intentional about the content we consume and the time we spend online. Setting boundaries, such as limiting screen time, turning off notifications, or taking regular social media fasts, can help maintain a healthy balance.
Studies suggest that reducing social media usage can decrease feelings of anxiety and depression, which are often linked to the dopamine-driven cycle of seeking validation online.
Finally, we should use social media as a tool for good, not letting it become a master over our lives.
1 Corinthians 6:12 says, “I have the right to do anything,” you say — but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything” — but I will not be mastered by anything.”
Social media is a powerful tool, but like any tool, it must be used wisely and with purpose.
Embracing the Journey
My journey with social media has been one of learning and growth. I’ve come to appreciate its benefits while also acknowledging its potential pitfalls.
The love-hate relationship I have with these platforms is likely one that will continue, but with God’s guidance and a deeper understanding of how these platforms affect my mind and spirit, I strive to keep my focus on what truly matters.
In the end, social media is what we make of it.
It can be a source of connection and inspiration or a breeding ground for comparison and distraction. The choice is ours.
By keeping our hearts aligned with God’s truth, using these platforms with intention, and being aware of the psychological effects at play, we can navigate this digital age in a way that honors Him and brings light to those around us.
