Where Could I Go but to the Lord?
Gutbloom
545

The Book of Gutbloom

Chapter & Verse

I knew immediately upon reading this that I would have to write a response, having done considerable biblical exegesis (or more properly, editing biblical exegesis for others, more theologically accomplished than myself). Since there’s just so much good material, it took me a long time to decide what was worth the candle and what to pass up.

You probably won’t be surprised that Balaam and his talking ass came to mind at once — only to be abandoned because talking asses have been so much in the news of late that much humorous impact has been leeched out of the subject.

As you demonstrated, the Book of Job can, with proper exegesis, be more fun than a barrel of monkeys. Speaking of which (monkeys, that is), although Job had (past tense) a whole giant menagerie — sheep & goats, asses & camels — monkeys are sadly lacking. Camels are relatively rare in both Testaments. (Chesterfields & Lucky Strikes didn’t even make the canon, though perhaps they can be found somewhere in the Apocrypha.)

Camels in particular caught my attention because Job is the only place in the Old Testament where they’re mentioned, camels qua camels, though in the Gospel of Matthew they make two appearances as metaphor, as in “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle…” & “…strain out a gnat and swallow a camel!” Those metaphors do have a lot of pizzazz — parts of the wonderfully anti-authoritarian rant where Jesus flames all over the Scribes & Pharisees.

But I realized those references fell short for me because, if I’ve learned nothing else in life, it’s that metaphorical camels are a poor way to get across the desert — and if I was going to write this, I wanted to get somewhere. I just hadn’t found the right biblical vehicle.

Then I remembered.

My teachers used to crack wise about Acts 1:14 & Acts 2:46 as being the last time on record where the entire Church was in agreement about anything. But the citation in chapter 2 is of particular interest and cogency in this (one-sided) discussion.

Acts 2:46

“So continuing daily in one accord…breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart.”

My Exegesis

A less serious exegesis applies the verse to the gusto with which Christians typically woof down their food at church dinners & picnics, and I’ve already mentioned the historical significance of church-wide agreement. Not being into liberation theology, I’ll forego the odder communistic/socialistic interpretations this verse has sometimes been freighted with, as well.

No, the real point of interest here Acts 2:46 is, as I mentioned, the biblical vehicle. Apparently, the entire church went around daily in a single Honda Accord! The very first clown car, zooming around Judea, Samaria and Galilee, packed with hungry Christians in search of the next love feast! That’s even better than camels.

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