The Maratabat and The Vengeful Courtship of The Maranaos
The Philippines is a melting pot of numerous unique cultures. We have various practices in many different aspects that other tribes might have difficulty in understanding. We Filipinos are divided into different regions that have notable distinctions from the others because of the culture unique to that region. Culture is said to be the totality of a person.
Courtship is the period where the couple discovers if they are compatible enough for marriage. In industrial societies, courtship is done out of love which leads to marriage. While in traditional societies, marriage is done for a harmonious relationship between groups, not just between individuals.
This knowledge enables us to ponder upon other motives for marriage. In the Maranao tribe, a distinct character of the Maranao courtship is the Maratabat, the vengeful courtship. It is a type of courtship pursued out of spite or ill-will. The purpose is not for love, which should be the case, but to get even or get revenge. The root cause of this courtship is a girl offending a man or a close relative of a man. The man performs courtship to the girl as a form of retaliation from the insult perpetrated. It is done to uphold honor which is often equated with family honor that the Maranaos preserve strictly.
The Maranaos usually do this courtship at a nocturnal visit in the house of the girl, in a gathering or in the working place. The boy must behave in the most acceptable manner without showing any aggressiveness to the girl. When he comes up in the house, he is not entertained by the girl, but any old folk in the house, particularly the girl’s mother. He may be served cigarettes, a betel quid or nowadays, a snack. This counter is usually characterized by a display of skills in pananaroon or tobad-tobad (a short love poem in classical Maranao language) by both parties.
The Maranao families are proud of their ancestry. Those qualities constitute the Maratabat of the Maranaos. According Professor Aminoding B. Limpao of the Mindanao State University, the Maratabat is an ancient Maranao adage, a concept that might be the keyword in understanding the complex Maranao culture. It is roughly translated as “self-pride”. Moreover, it is the Maratabat that drives every Maranao to protect every member of his/her clan and preserve the family honor.
The dishonest intention of the vengeful courtship proves to be undesirable for some because of the intention. Limpao also added that the Maranao’s Maratabat leaves them no choice but to observe strict Islamic laws and family traditions, including arranged marriages, and giving and fixing of dowries. Just like how the Bicolanos are driven by the Oragon spirit, the Maratabat greatly influences the Maranaos' culture.
Let’s think of the vengeful courtship as a revenge that could create a harmonious relationship between two clans. The courtship could still yield marriage if done successfully.
We should not judge the Maranaos because of their practice. To them, their Maratabat provides strength in every Maranao knowing that wherever they are and in whatever situation they are in, they are protected by their family and members of their clan. That strong family tie is one of the characters that define the Filipinos. Family is life for us. This proves that even though we are divided by our differences especially in terms of culture, we are still united by the underlying reasons in such practices like the love for family. Deeply understanding such practices is the key to breach cultural barriers. So we can say that we are not so different from them after all.
References:
https://factsanddetails.com/southeast-asia/Philippines/sub5_6c/entry-3872.html
https://pia.gov.ph/%C2%ADnews/articles/%C2%AD1001948.amp
https://www.kasal.com/maratabat-vengeful-courtship
https://opinion.inquirer.net/105838/maratabat-in-marawi/amp