The Ultimate guide “not” to change your apple id

We all have our old emails… for me my apple id is that old email that you get embarrassed when you are asked about why it includes “rainbow” in it…

Sadly I’ve recently tried to migrate my old apple id and old stuff to a newer apple id… and here is the Ultimate guide on how to f#$k up all your apple ids… ( especially if you have purchases on this old email apple id that you want to keep )

  1. You create a new apple id… something decent you wish not to be able to ever use again… (Preferably your current personal email address).
  2. You log into your old apple id to try to change the primary email.
  3. You cannot change your apple id primary email to an existing apple id.
  4. You contact the apple customer support.
  5. They are extremely nice, but they cannot help you.
  6. You complain to them that you don’t want to be stuck with your old apple id for the rest of your life, and yet you want to keep your purchases ( not to mention the other critical data you have on your iCloud).
  7. They are extremely extremely nice, but still they cannot help you.
  8. They contact their supervisors to ask about deleting your new decent apple id, in order for you to use this email as your primary apple id email.
  9. They tell you that if they deleted your new decent apple id email… you won’t be able to use it ever again as an apple id.
  10. They propose a solution for you… to change your new decent apple id to another temporary email, and use your new decent apple id email as the new primary apple id email.
  11. Their solution doesn’t work…
  12. You call them again.
  13. They tell you that they will do it manually on their end… but first you have to log out from you devices.
  14. You log out from your MacBook Pro, iPhone,…
  15. They tell you that you have to log out from all of your devices, including that (MacBook Pro) laptop you haven’t opened for a couple of years, otherwise it’ll break and you won’t be able to log in any other account on that.
  16. You tell them you don’t have access to this old laptop right now… it’s in a different country.
  17. They tell you when you can log out of it… contact us using this case number and we will continue.
  18. You give up and surrender to the fact that you are stuck with your “sexy_and_i_know_it@hotmail.com” primary apple id.
  19. You try to log in again with your devices (MacBook Pro, iPhone).
  20. You face the problem that you cannot authenticate your keychain access.
  21. You try to authenticate your keychain access app, but you need
    1. Your apple id password.
    2. Your iCloud security code.
    3. The iCloud verification code sent to your old mobile number ( that you cannot access now) because you cannot verify access using any other already connected devices.
    4. Original copy of the Abby Road signed by the one of the beetles.
    5. Steve Jobs fingerprint.
    6. The solution to the fermi paradox.
    7. …
  22. You figure out a way to change your phone number.
  23. You request iCloud verification key.
  24. You have dinner and watch a couple of movies while waiting for apple to send you the verification key.
  25. You decide to write a similar blog post. ( while waiting for the verification key ).

And that conclude the tutorial on how to f#$k up all your apple ids, and decide to spend the weekend fixing something that should be extremely simple and trivial.

Update: August 30th, 2016
I was finally able to change the address (and the app store), after I completed the above list without changing my apple id (but after losing my old purchases).

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