Why meditation and mindfulness is better than NLP or any positive thinking.

Thou shall understand the benefits and style of eastern thinking.

“Don’t worry about improving the road, work on your driving skills”- Madanism

It was one evening in 2010, that I met Aanand. It was party and suddenly as I was dancing on the dance a guy came and started dancing in rhythm to my beats. We were in perfect sync, and soon the whole party began to follow us. And as the songs changed and I got tired I walked back to the bar. That’s when Aanand followed and introduced himself to me. He asked me what I did, I was in Sales during that time, and I asked him and he said he was learning NLP. I said “ Ahh that’s a persuasion technique used in sales” . That moment onwards my curiosity into NLP and my relationship with Aanand just grew into a life long friendship.

So why do we use NLP ?

NLP is a branch of hypnosis, were we try to alter beliefs, feelings and emotional States of people using language to achieve our desired outcomes.

I personally think NLP is great when it comes to persuasion. At least in the short term one can temporarily alter beliefs whether you want someone to buy your products, want to convince your friends, your girlfriend and just even to pick up women. All these aspects were very rewarding. But personally when it came to altering my beliefs and mindsets I couldn’t find much hope.

I’ve been superstitious from a young age, but somehow these things became a hindrance in my adult life. I wanted to eliminate them and through the practice of certain patterns I did break through a lot of my limiting beliefs and lack of self worth. But further I moved in life I only felt my brain was throwing newer challenges and beliefs. Only when I’d encounter a new situation I’d know what was limiting me to get the best results. And beyond a period I was just stuck to breaking these beliefs and installing new ones.

Eg: I had a belief that I wasn’t good with women. That women would like talking to me, then using I did question my beliefs and created a new belief that I was attractive. This really did help me in my relationships. But however the next day when I had to make a sudden important presentation to my boss, I stuturred with lack of confidence. Now I had to realize what was causing my anxiety during presentations, and what I had to do the next time. This list end became endless I realised that I had fear of lizards, fear of approaching women on the street, the fear of not being good in bed, not being a good speaker etc. And all of these fears and low self image just remained, as I treated old ones ones came. My removal of fear of lizards , created more adventure that created a fear of snakes and the list never ends.

In that process of finding the one stop solution I stumbled upon meditation.

When I started to learn meditation. I had difficulty to calm my mind generally. But with a few days of practice and deep breathing I experienced a certain calmness.

Now let me explain as I started my breath watching meditation, I would just simply observe my breathe. My mind would drift into some thought and then I would again have to bring it back. As days progressed I experienced a detachment from my thoughts, I realized that each thought whether about work, relationships or lizards was just a thought. I began to see things and not get emotionally reactive. Post meditation I’d look at a lizard and say it’s a lizard, I could no longer feel the emotion, I’d look at a pretty girl and say that’s a girl with nice spotless skin black hair black tee and blue jeans,. And if had to go talk to her I’d go talk to her say what I felt was right in the moment. The fighting with thoughts vanished. There was no more good thought bad thought good belief bad beliefs. It was just thoughts that were attached to beliefs. Now that I had detached from thoughts I had no beliefs. I only did what was necessary in any situation. If had seen a snake I’d say it’s a snake I should run, but there was no inner fear. I could experience clarity in many situations.

So fundamentally NLP taught me how to fight my thoughts or tame them. Meditation made me realize I was not my thoughts, and the thoughts were just thoughts, I just needed to let them pass. There was no point fighting or working on them.