An unmotivated post…

SO, I have written so many posts now, none which are any good and they all basically have explained that I’m lazy and unmotivated. Which then makes me question whether or not I will be able to complete my #18before18.

I don’t know why I don’t have the motivite to do anything overly productive, maybe because I have nothing to look forward to. I have the same routine everyday, and just have been feeling like there isn’t anything too special in my life at this point. Except for my boyfriend, (who has said the L word to me now ❤) who I want to make proud of me, but what can I do that would make him proud?

A lot of the time I feel like a kid who is playing a game of hide and seek with their responsibilites, yet I am the one trying to find them with my eyes closed. It is just not happening. I feel like I’m lost with where I want to be going.

This week, I have had exams; I don’t hate exams but they are not my favourite thing either. There is a hatred that goes around the school and a lot of negative energry and stress. All unecessary seeing as we have SAC’s every other week and no one seems to make a big deal about it. The negative vibes really make me feel down and eh. Exams go away and holidays hurry up. Please?!

Next week, I will be turning 17, and am hoping that some type of inspiration will hit me in the face and give me the slightest bit of motivation to drag myself out of my bedroom. There are 16 year olds out there that are living the life. Hello, Kylie and Kenndel Jenner, don’t they own like 4 cars each and they are 17 and 19. I’m 17 in 11 days and struggling to save money for 1 used car.

This post didn’t turn out how I want it to be, and not written in the way I’d like for it to bed read. I rambled and it doesn’t flow, so excuse that. Just needed to get something up prior to actually beginning my #18before18. Next week, I hope I’ll find some motivation to be more of the person I want to be.

-Maddy x