Day 5/30: How I learned to manage my emotions

I have struggled with feeling stressed and anxious since I was very young. It’s a feeling that takes over me, making me unable to function and leaves me in a frozen state.

I remember me in 6th grade stressed out of my mind over every exam I had. Looking back, an exam at 12 years old is inconsequential yet back then it felt like my world was collapsing before each test.

These feelings of stress and anxiety have controlled my life from then to very recently, when I learned how to manage those emotions.

There are two parts to this process:

1. Existing with my emotions

My emotions feel so strong, it is physically painful. Sometimes I think I could die from how strong they are. But I realized that if I simply let them exist, they will pass by with time.

When I feel a strong feeling, I just sit with myself. I check in on my body and recognize where I am feeling this emotion. I look at my emotions from a third person perspective and let them be. I allow them to sit in my body. With time, they get calmer and I can think better. Letting them be and not resisting strong emotions has been a game changer.

2. Making my mind a safe space

Elizabeth Gilbert says, “The most peaceful people I know, and the most wise people I know are the ones who have created enough internal space to allow all of the parts of themselves to coexist despite the contradictions.

So they have room for their creativity, and they also have room for their fears. They have room for their dignity, and they also have room for their shame.

They have room for the parts of themselves that are glorious, divine and wonderful. They have room for the parts of themselves that are petty, jealous and ridiculous.

They create this big huge auditorium of landscape inside themselves. They don’t kick any part out because guess what? You can’t.”

Just as I allowed all my emotions to exist within me, I also made space for all the thoughts that accompanied those emotions. Just living with those thoughts, without judgement made a huge difference.

Simply telling my mind this is a safe space and I can think, feel and be as I am allowed me to become calmer.

I still have very strong emotions, and it does feel paralyzing when they arise.

However, by letting my thoughts and feelings exist, I can get to state of calm faster and move forward from those moments.