Toxic Masculinity Is A Myth
Toxic masculinity doesn’t exist. It’s a made-up term associated with the negative behaviour of some men within our society. This is yet another attempt to brand masculinity as something to be mitigated against. There’s no such thing as toxic masculinity, no more than there is toxic femininity.
Toxic masculinity is a convenient label used to simplify and explain complex human behaviour based on genetics, biology, phycology, culture, upbringing, education, socio-economic status and a number of other variables too numerous to mention.
Masculinity is not inherently good or bad as some may believe, it is dependent on the culture in which it exists. We have encouraged and perpetuated a negative representation of masculinity from the very top of society to the very bottom. We have countries, governments, corporations, laws and traditions all geared towards completely destructive behaviour in the form of war, aggression and dominance.
Masculinity is not the problem, in fact, we need more of it. The kind of masculinity that wants to open a door for a woman, or give up a seat on a train, or work hard to provide for his family, being brave and taking the right kind of risks, not being afraid to compete, having a desire to win and being able to deal with loss and rejection. We all instinctively know what positive displays of masculinity look like but society promotes and glorifies the negative.
Naturally, this type of culture will produce some men who lack compassion and think that violence is the answer. It’s not ‘toxic masculinity’, it’s bad behaviour that is a result of the environment that men have been socialised in. If you take these same men and put them in an environment that teaches respect, compassion and love, that is how we will behave.
The problem we have is that a small number of rich and powerful men who occupy our governments and run large corporations have carefully created a system that produces perpetual war, violence, control, abuse, inequality, division, poverty and the general destruction of the earth for profit all supported by propagandist media that they control. This is not human nature, this is the current human condition.
The average man if left to his own devices simply wants to live a good life, raise a family and mind his own business. But we live in a system that creates men who are more likely to commit suicide, more prone to depression and mental illness, more likely to commit acts of violence, more likely to commit murder and more likely to go to prison.
Men are working longer hours, have higher levels of stress and are not eating healthy. We are seeing a massive drop in sperm count and low testosterone levels due to toxins in our food which can result in low sex drive, erectile dysfunction, fatigue, hair loss, loss of muscle, increased body fat, mood swings, the list goes on.
A lot of these issues seem to be related to the fact that many men still don’t feel comfortable discussing their problems or seeking help which is predicated on the false belief that strong men don’t cry, or discuss their emotions. It takes a strong man to open up and be vulnerable when he’s been taught the opposite all his life.
We also have an education system that’s not geared towards teaching boys but instead, they misdiagnosed them with invented disorders like ADHD and put them on medication that places them firmly in the hands of scrupulous pharmaceutical companies who create patients for life.
Instead of encouraging boys to be strong, responsible and deal with issues head-on we try to shield them and wrap them up in cotton wool. We prevent them from rough and tumble play and hand out medals when they come last and tell them it’s ok because it’s the competing that matters. Boys are not being taught how to be men because many fathers are either absent or too feminised to set a good example.
Healthy families and societies need strong men who can lead. And in a world full of wickedness, we need brave men with a warrior’s mindset to stand up and fight for what’s right in order to protect the ones we love. That’s the responsibility that comes with being a real man.
I say this not to make excuses for our negative behaviour, but to highlight the fact that all these issues have a direct impact on how men behave in society much more than some pseudoscientific toxic masculine gene that makes us inherently tyrannical.
Your friend,
Madison