The setting: a party

The reason: we won 1st place

The game: who am I

We all write down a name put it into a bowl

one by one choose a piece of paper pick a partner and start

On their head is your name

“Do you want to go first?”

“No, you can” you answer, and then the questions start

“Am I a girl?”

“Yes”

“Am I an adult”

“No”

“Am I a teenager”

“Yes”

“Am I black?”

“No”

“Am I white”

No answer

“Am I Latino”

No answer

Because it’s hard to answer that you’re Latina, especially a proud Latina, when your mom constantly make you question your identity

When she ‘jokes’ that you shouldn’t even mark the Hispanic square on paper work

When she says you’re “not Mexican enough” even though she’s the one who left you with white people

And you’re pretty sure you’re half white but those guys aren’t really your family

You don’t feel like you belong because in family photos your tanned skin sticks out like a sore thumb against the sea of pearly white faces

But you will also never be as dark as your mother

And no matter how much sun you get during the summer she will also be at least 3 shades darker and has to make a comment on it

She also comments on how bad your Spanish is and when you try to say anything about the fact that she expects her daughter to be perfectly bilingual when she left her with people who ‘no habla enspanol’, butcher the accent and then make fun of you when you do speak the language properly, she’ll already be off at work

But then you remember you’re at a party and you’re not allowed to have an identity crisis in the middle of a party surrounded by kids you think are your friends but you’re so unsure of who you are that you don’t even know who they are

“Well then who am I?”

“I don’t know”

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