Why, When and How to Quit an Unfulfilling Job
Chapter Two: The Exit
“Brave, but fair.”
This is how my mentor described my unexpected departure from the agency we worked at together. He for nearly 20 years, me for 10 months.
While I truly valued my time at this company, it became clear there were no longer any opportunities for growth that aligned with my career goals.
The agency had recently announced a new direction that heavily impacted my department. As the role shifted, I was asked to rewrite my job description on multiple occasions, and the average 45-hour work week became surprisingly draining.
Building frustrations with the misaligned role translated to creative block, sleepless nights, and a total loss of confidence in my professional abilities. I spent 10 months climbing an insurmountable mudslide of self-doubt and disillusionment, and my physical and mental health was suffering.
I didn’t walk into the office that morning with the intention of quitting my job. But as the day progressed, 10 months of discouragement and unhappiness festered inside of me. And I couldn’t ignore it.
After nearly a year of battling to fit into a role that didn’t serve me (and digesting feedback from 20+ people), I took charge of my career and submitted my two weeks notice.
Did I panic when I sent an ominous “Quick Connect” meeting invite to the director of HR? Absolutely. Did I blast Lizzo’s “Good as Hell” at full-volume as I pulled out of the parking lot? You betcha.
Whatever your reason for leaving a job, my best advice is to always prioritize your health and happiness — especially as a young, female professional. As women, we’re essentially trained to rank ourselves far below the things and people around us. By putting yourself first and quitting a draining job, you’re showing future employers that you know what you want in a career and aren’t afraid to take a leap of faith to find the next opportunity.
“You can’t kill ambition. You can kill confidence, but you can’t kill drive.” Whitney Wolfe, Bumble
Here are a few things to consider when leaving an unfulfilling job — and gracefully, so you don’t burn bridges.
You can support yourself during the gap
There are a lot of important factors to consider when you quit your job, especially if you don’t have another opportunity lined up. Financial security, however, is the biggest factor. Depending on the job market in your city, your level of experience, and the industry you work in, it can take months of searching and interviewing to find a new position (not to mention the “right” fit).
Thanks to frugal spending habits, a healthy savings account, and minimal living expenses, I was in a good place financially to leave my job when I hit my lowest point. But I know this isn’t the case for everyone.
Historically, it’s taken my industry friends three months to one year to find a new full-time job, so I set my expectations accordingly. Most made ends meet by picking up gig work — freelancing, driving for Lyft, delivering groceries for Instacart. And they cut back on discretionary expenses like concert tickets and happy hours. It took a little longer to pay their credit card bills in full, but they always paid their monthly minimums.
Unemployment is stressful. That’s just reality. But my industry friends all seemed to have a few things in common as they navigated their respective unemployment journeys. They all (1) worked tirelessly to find a new job, (2) identified new revenue streams, and (3) trusted in the process.
Before putting in your notice, I recommend taking a deep dive into your saving and spending habits. Identify your largest expenses (for me, it’s rent and live music), map out where you can cut back (no more splurging on rideshares or adult beverages), find new revenue streams (tap your network for opportunities and browse freelance sites like Upwork), and build a realistic budget that accommodates your new, frugal lifestyle (Mint’s financial tracker and online budget planner are incredible tools). I plan to take a deeper dive into my finances in a later chapter, but these are just a few ways I’ve made ends meet over the last month.
Your job function isn’t aligned with your career goals
It sounds like common sense, but it’s important to work in a role that contributes to your long-term success. Are the projects you’re working on portfolio-worthy? Do your work samples reflect what you want in your career? Are you building something meaningful?
Unfortunately, my work was not contributing to my long-term success. Aside from a handful of integrated marketing plans I developed and executed, much of my day-to-day work was focused on public relations — an industry I worked in for years but abandoned to pursue a career in marketing. I was surpassing our goals, but the areas in which I was excelling were not aligned with my passions. The more personal branding and PR projects I worked on, the more clear it became that I didn’t want to pursue this kind of work later in my career.
If this is the case for you, I encourage you to first try and work through a solution with your manager. Identify your long-term career goals and compare them with your current job description and function. Have a candid conversation about the activities that energize you and the overlapping areas in which you feel you can contribute to the company’s growth.
If this is not possible, see if you can make an impact somewhere else in the company. While a departmental change was not an option for me at the time (although it had been discussed), many companies will retain talent by facilitating an internal transfer. In fact, Favor reports 40 percent of its employees are in a role different from the one they had when they first started.
After exploring every option, give yourself some time to sit on your decision. Sign up for job alerts, consult with friends and mentors in your industry, and spend some time thinking about what you want to do.
Do you want to suffer in a role that takes more than it gives? Does the thought of leaving the company excite you more than it scares you? Perhaps it’s time to send a “Quick Connect” meeting invite to HR.
Your values don’t align with the company’s vision
A misalignment between career goals and my department’s structure was the biggest reason I left my job. Fortunately, this rationale allowed me to exit gracefully, as I was able to emphasize my gratitude and respect for my position and experience at the company. Because of this, they kindly offered to help me with my job search.
I’ve left jobs honestly (to try to enact some kind of change) and I’ve left jobs peacefully (to keep my bridges stable), and I would highly recommend the latter.
While the trials and tribulations helped shape me as a professional, it wasn’t until I recently started interviewing at a mission-driven organization that I realized the importance of working somewhere with my same personal and professional values.
As I progressed through the interview process (seven intense rounds, mind you), my energy spiked. I breezed through the “Why do you want to work here?” questions that each interviewer asked with genuine interest. It felt effortless to propose campaign ideas and strategies on how to achieve them.
But mostly, I was excited by the prospect of working at a company that promoted — and lived — the same mission as me.
I didn’t get the job (stay tuned for more on this experience), but I learned a ton about the interview process. Most importantly, I learned it’s energizing to seek employment at a company that genuinely wants to understand how its purpose aligns with yours.
As you search for your next full-time gig, don’t glaze over a company’s “About Us” or “Our Mission” pages. Take note of the company’s core values and, if they aren’t listed, inquire about them throughout the interview process. Highlight the qualities and values that are important to you, and don’t be afraid to ask if the company shares the same vision.
Your department doesn’t have an established growth plan
Has your company established goal-setting and measurement processes? Do you know what milestones or goals you need to reach in order to get a raise or promotion? Is the job description for your promotional role clearly outlined and consistent with your job function? These are questions I’ve learned to ask throughout the interview process because they can be career-defining.
My small department operated much like a startup due to a historically high employee turnover rate on the team. While this structure provided great opportunities for me to establish processes, plans and templates, it also meant I had little direction in terms of how to progress in my career.
If your company or department doesn’t have a structured process for career development, I recommend consulting with your manager or someone in HR to develop a structured growth plan and methods to track them. Establish quarterly and annual goals for yourself, and stick to them. While my department was close to establishing this kind of structure, constantly shifting priorities and new company-wide objectives meant my goals were moving targets. And I’ve learned that I thrive in a more structured (albeit fast-paced) environment.
There are a million reasons to leave an unfulfilling job. Whether there is tension with your manager, you don’t agree with the company’s leadership, or you’re downright miserable going into work each day. Whatever the case, carefully consider your options and consult with your mentors, but don’t forget what makes you happy.
