Fact! You are the Black Mask in your WhatsApp group. 7 ways to prove it and not kill anyone about it

Magdalene Kamau Otieno
Jan 16 · 7 min read

Everyone has dreadful moments.

Mine; sitting on the toilet seat and halfway into executing the vital business, I wonder if I’m sitting on the water pot! Blame it on water scarcity in Africa. But that’s nothing compared to posting your ‘wise’ comments in a WhatsApp group where you are considered the arch-villain.

It happens; to most of us at least.

You’re lucky if it hasn't. Yet.

And sometimes we are so stupid not to see the signs written on every group member’s forehead. So we keep posting over and over again. What happened to noticing obvious patterns?

You see, WhatsApp groups are formed for all reasons the world can afford. Unless you've chosen to keep off Facebook’s adopted sibling, you are bound to find yourself in one. You may not have asked for inclusion, but you find yourself there anyway. Being the courteous one, you excuse yourself and leave.

But there are those groups you lust to join. Those you believe flow with life’s juices and you just can’t live without them. Groups where your contributions should and must add value. At least that’s what you tell yourself until proven otherwise.

How do you know you are the unwanted one? The one whose comments though well thought never pass the stupidity test?

7 Ways To Know You Are Your WhatsApp Group’s Arch-Villain

If any of these is happening to you in any WhatsApp group, you are the desperado. Read all the 7 signs while resisting the urge for homicide. There are more Gotham Cities for you to rule anyway.

WhatsApp Group Villains’ wear

WhatsApp groups make sharing of valuable information super easy. When you come across a juicy opportunity, rallying people to take action is the most sensible thing to do. Whether a job opportunity or plea for medical help.

No matter how important your information is, if you are the group’s unwanted, no one gives a lick!

Your call to action sits there for hours. Cold and lonely.

When your WhatsApp group decides to show mercy after ignoring your CTAs, changing the story becomes the next best thing. This happens when the group’s Honchos, the admins, want to shut you up!

Of course none has the guts to tell it in your face, so they do it the way every other coward in the world does it.

They start a new topic a second after you make your important post. You wonder if they sleep with their thumbs on the keypads waiting to exterminate your wisdom.

The aim; to make your story null and void. It’s a simpler way of telling the rest of the community, “Ignore the idiot that posted the message above.”

Is it any different from the one above?

In a million ways — Yes!

When you post a photo, quote or link to an article that’s beneficial to the group and in half a heartbeat someone post opposes your message. You’re the group’s villain!

The opposing message targets the idea you have shared to induce an argument or make you look like you don’t know your stuff.

If you share an article you have written, the contrasting post is sent to point out a wiser way would have shaped the article. Not that they care. They only want to show everyone in the group how shallow your article is.

You wonder how they know that you are going to post and prepare a deadly come-back against it.

If you are in a small group where everyone is always online, you expect at least 50% of the members to see your post in a short time. To your surprise, the message gets blue ticked. Yippee!! Everyone has read it. Saint and servant. Righteous and rascal.

Then the waiting begins. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

No answer. No comment. Not even the stool emoji 💩.

Did you misspell a word?

Then from nowhere, one member starts typing. You start smiling. Alas! Someone is listening.

Hours down the line, they’re still typing.

What the heck!

When the punishment meted on you doesn't bear fruit, a member of the kingpin and family opts for an uglier route.

Thanks to WhatsApp’s reply button, it’s now easy to show how useless your post is by responding to older messages while ignoring yours.

The response is followed by multiple comments leaving yours confused. The respect afforded your post resembles that of middle-schoolers to a substitute teacher. Seen but dismissed.

To prove the ugliness of your post, when someone else tries to discuss the topic you raised, they get a waterfall of responses. Some group members even have the audacity to tag the person who repeated your post crediting them for the your idea.

Do you still want to keep posting?

The good news about every WhatsApp group, there are guys who have no clue of your villainy. They never go beyond two in a group and they speak emoji.

These are your ONLY rescue. When they see your umpteenth post, out of pity they respond with a ‘ 👍 ’ even when there’s nothing to thumb-up about.

Whether they read your story or not remains a mystery. Once they've done their thing, they seek safety in silence.

They come in peace. And leave in peace. After that, you are on your own!

When all signs are laid out like a yard sale: being ignored, immediate contrast, switched topics and wait signals; wisdom calls for you to exit the group.

But again, you think you only meant well hence no need to leave the group.


If you are blind to the obvious ‘Exit sign’, the next thing is for the kingpin to throw you out. To avoid looking like a rascal, they create a secret group and invite everyone in. Except you.

A few days later, the number of posts in the WhatsApp group decreases. Your once periodic posts begin to get closer to each other. Once in a while a troop member forwards an image that has done their umpteenth round on Social Media. You comfort yourself that things are still alright.

The same group that made you mute the group notification due to message overflow becomes more silent than a grave.

Then from nowhere someone belches out the secret, “Why do we have duplicate groups?”

Your most dreaded thoughts are revealed, turning your armpits into swamplands. You were left behind. Everyone hates you!

(You left)

Disclaimer: If you’ve never experienced any of these in any WhatsApp group, you’re everyone’s darling! I apologize for wasting your time. 😿

Oh, you are still here, aren't you?

How To Live Without Being Homicidal In A WhatsApp Group Where Nobody Needs You

Like yours truly, if you've experienced this kind of online hate, there’s no cause for alarm. Here are three things you could do. The forth is a last result to save a dying horse. Don’t worry, it’s not suicidal either.

Giving feedback in a nice way in a WhatsApp group

This starts with commenting on posts with honest insights. No matter how tight your day is, find time to add value in a WhatsApp group. It’s the only reason you are there anyway.

Give feedback, in a nice way, when responding to comments that are erroneous. But don’t make the mistake the key thing reason for your comment. Many people dislike being corrected in public.

If you want other people to respond to your input, participate in theirs. Free loaders are unacceptable in WhatsApp groups.

Even if they are free.

That doesn’t mean others shouldn’t respond, tagging helps to strike interest in the crowd. Some people may get offended if you don’t tag them. Prepare to offer apologies.

To tag the person, you can either use the reply button or use ‘@’ followed by the persons name if you have saved it in your phone.’

Besides discussing the group’s objectives, when opportunities come knocking, share a brief message asking those who qualify to send you a private message. 📥

If that’s against the rules, contact the admin in private and ask if you can share the message.

If all else doesn't work…

If your presence in a group doesn't add value, or is treated as such, decency calls for you to exit. Whether you asked to join the group or not, don’t stay where you are not needed. And don’t wait for the forced exit.

Being in a WhatsApp group shouldn't burden you at any one time. You have the option to stay or leave. Thanks to Facebook’s father and WhatsApp adopted father, Mark Zuckerberg, WhatsApp is free. You can create as many groups as you can. Make sure they are useful though.

Once in a week, evaluate which groups add value to your life. Trust me, most don’t. Parking in there awaiting a favorable moment is an absolute waste of time. You bet you don’t have any to waste!

Magdalene Kamau Otieno

Written by

I am a Business Mentor, Motivational Speaker and a Freelance Writer. The founder of www.finewealth.me