My cat died and it’s my fault

Magda Paiva
Catness
Published in
3 min readMay 28, 2019

Until a few months back I had a beautiful, sweet, fat cat. He was the kind of cat that would wait for you near the door, he would let you rub his belly and even did tricks.

My cat died and it is my fault!

He was getting sick and I didn’t notice. Sure his cat litter, which was supposed to last around one month, was all wet in one week, but he drank a lot of water so it should be kind of normal. Of course he used to throw up a little but cats do that for a lot of reasons: fur balls, eating too fast or just because they are cats.

Since the day I got him he was like this so when he got really sick I didn’t notice. I was busy! I was busy with my job, busy with my life and my cat had everything he could need. He had food, fresh water, toys and his litter was clean so what could go wrong?

He started spending less time near us and we didn’t gave it importance! He was “discovering new territories” or getting some sun in the balcony, cats love sun and adventures. It was only when he stopped being around us altogether, when we noticed something wasn’t right. This is the moment when we book an appointment in the vet.

At this moment it was too late!

I had been working weird hours, lots of nights and weekends and it wasn’t until this day we noticed he wasn’t eating or drinking at all. As the cat’s bowl was always full, I thought my boyfriend was giving him food and water and he thought exactly the same. Only then we noticed the cat wasn’t eating for two days!

When I get to the vet, my cat, my very fat cat was dehydrated, presented weight loss and his blood screen showed kidney problems. He got admitted for four days to get some fluids and medicines but he wasn’t getting any better. My cat was angry, sad and grumpy…my nice, sweet cat was very annoyed with everyone!

At this point the vet tells us he wouldn’t get any better from now on. They could try to do surgery but his kidneys were in really bad shape and from that moment we had two options: we could continue is pain and see how the kidneys respond or not.

This was the hardest thing I ever had to do!

My cat was just there near me, being playful, we was alive! I had to sign a paper for the end of my cat’s life. “He wouldn’t get any better, it was chronic” the vet said… “It was the best decision”… But it didn’t feel like it!

My cat died and it was my fault!!! I should had known he was getting sick. I should have noticed. I was too busy!

So what I mean by sharing this story is for you to pay attention to everyone and everything in your life, don’t be too busy! A pet needs attention, they can’t tell you what hurts and cats specially, they will try to hide it!

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Magda Paiva
Catness
Writer for

I'm a full time pharmacist, learning photography in part time and writing as an hobby.