What if I told you I just fled an abusive marriage — and I’m afraid — This story is part of the Internet Time Machine, a collection about life online in the 2010s. I am afraid of you. I’m afraid you’ll rape me, or hurt me, or play with my mind. I’m sorry to be so blunt, and I’m even sorrier because you’ve done nothing to…

A cautionary tale for cheaters — I had an affair with your husband, to whom I am now married, and I am so, so sorry. If there is one decision in my life I could undo, it would be this. Because of what it did to you, because of what it’s done to me, and because…

Despite everything, I still loved my abuser — All stories about abuse are hard. For me, this one is the hardest. It’s the hardest because it’s the truest, and because it complicates our impulse to separate the good guys from the bad guys. My husband was one of each. When his dark side was in control, he was…

I am done fighting desperately to remain 15 pounds above what I used to weigh effortlessly. I just realized I can eat whatever I want and weigh just 18 pounds above what I used to weigh effortlessly. It did not take me long to puzzle through the logic on this…

My boyfriend gave me a rock for my birthday— not a diamond, but an actual rock that he found by the river on our first date. It’s romantic, I guess, that he saved it all this time. He said he knew the rock would mean more to me than if…

After my divorce, I was no longer protected from the advances of married men — It’s happened three times now, with three different married men, in the three months since I’ve been divorced. It seems like too much of a coincidence to be coincidental. It looks like this: A man I’ve worked with for years suddenly begins communicating with me exponentially more frequently than he…

The false dichotomy of good guys and bad guys — He liked it rough, he said, and he liked to be the aggressor. This surprised me, because he seemed so gentle, so soft-spoken. And it scared me, because I was less than six months out of an abusive marriage and still afraid of men in general. He may as well…

Life is hard right now, but I’m trying to amplify the positive moments whenever they pop up — I found the cabinet at a garage sale. It was hideous: rough wood painted a fading puke green color. There were partially rotten patches in the wood, but I decided they didn’t affect its structural integrity. I needed it to store clothing because my apartment is so tiny; there’s not…

On seeing my abuser when I least expected it — I wasn’t sure I would ever see you again. I wasn’t sure I wanted to. By the time I left, I was so afraid of you that I didn’t even think about anything but getting away from you. It never occurred to me to prepare for what happened this morning. …