Serendipity

I’ve been sneaking up on myself lately, surprised by my exhaustion, urges to actually move my body, and overall self-growth.

Change is slow and I have time.

These are classes I will keep retaking.

After a semester/lifetime of many failed tests and mid-day tutoring sessions, I hold my (undoubtedly temporary) A+ up high for you all to see.

I am responding well to patience, space, and trees — none of which have taken their expected shape.

They are sneaky like me. Trees especially.

The trees I’m staring at are all quite different, despite a long habit of disguising themselves as monotonous green creatures with no sense of individuality whatsoever.

Now that they have removed their masks, I am ceaselessly in awe of how many different kinds of leaves exist.

As for patience and space, they are less mature than the trees,

and therefore enjoy slipping back into their disguises on occasion.

In such moments, I have been known to forget that the best of things cannot be forced.

I have often confused self-care as laborious.

Softness and ease are the names of the game,

And I am learning that if patience and space require sweat, I may have forgotten to let them in the room to begin with.

I’m learning to let certain things stew in my head before assigning words to them,

Like a CrockPot,

Or a good aged wine — which I obviously know nothing about in all my juvenile bliss.

Surprise has been a frequent visitor.

At which points, my smile is large and my planner is useless.

I’d like to make a formula of it all.

As we all know, the only formula for surprise is more questions

(and repeated, potentially failed attempts to keep a big ol’ open heart)

Recently, I have been subjected to the overwhelming benefits of curiosity over fear,

So I have effectively moved that higher up on my list of “Great Life Mottos”.

To any haters of metaphor: proceed with caution.

I am picturing my life as a river.

Recently my raft has felt durable as all hell, and I am once again believing in my ability to endure.

I know I am doing something right when I regain faith in cliches.