Rose Colored Glasses…
What is your take on looking at life through rose colored glasses?!
To wear or not to wear?!
Do they set you up for disappointment or do they help create a rose colored life?! If you are looking for and focusing on the best in situations and in people, are you turning your cheek to the not so great aspects that may come back to bite you in the ass?! Are you living in la la land?
The potential issue with looking at the bright side is that there is a fine line between being optimistic and being in denial. Are you putting your best foot forward or are you pretending there is no issue when there clearly is?
Are you a person who can sense someone’s potential? Just because someone has potential, it does not mean they will choose to step into it. However, sometimes what it takes for us to reach our potential is someone believing in us.
Do you believe in transcendence, or are you skeptical that people and situations will ever change? Where is the optimal place on this spectrum?
We can talk ourselves in and we can talk ourselves out…
Have you ever dated someone with your fingers crossed while ignoring some pretty big red flags? The opposite happens too, shutting the door at the first sign of unflattering behaviors or potential problems. We don’t want to make a mistake or waste time so we can be quick to judge and not give someone a chance to show us their ability to transcend.
Your body and emotions will tell you if you are in denial and are choosing people and situations that do not serve your highest good. I just had a friend tell me that she finally left her husband because she was literally sick to her stomach anytime he was in the room. If you feel disgusted, achy, low energy, anxious, angry, and/or depressed around certain people or situations… these are clear signals to get out of dodge!
Don’t confuse rose colored glasses with having your head in the sand or the wool pulled over your eyes. The best way to distinguish is an honest self appraisal and healthy communcaiton. You can always ask the other people invloved if things are as rosey as you believe them to be.
If not rose, then what?
If a rosie outlook allows us to see the potential and the best case scenarios, then the other end of the spectrum would be dark colored glasses where we see the negative aspects and the worst case possibilities. Those who adopt this outlook are typically coming from the perspective of “expect the best, prepare for the worst”. You really can’t do both of those things simultaneously, so it becomes a waffling of hoping for the best and fearing the worst. Anyone who has done this knows, it is exhausting!!
The psyche goes overboard with analysis and exaggeration while on the hunt for potential issues. We are intentional and creational beings, so what we put our energy and focus on is what we create. If we are focused on problems… we will keep attracting problems. If we look through a critical eye then we will find things to criticize.
Problems cause worry! The vibration of worry is a sticky one and once it takes hold you can pretty much find anything to be worried about. You are basically keeping yourself in fight or flight because you are waiting for the bottom to fall out. Many people get a lot of shit done from a place of worry, it can be a great motivator… but at what cost?!
Where do you stand?
There is no correct answer… just a consideration about how you want your life to be. A positive outlook is the foundation for a positive life, but not everyone may choose that. Some of us associate our worth and value with being able to solve problems, survive difficulties and work hard.
This pattern typically does not discriminate though. You might want to continue deriving self satisfaction from overcoming challenges and working hard in your career space, but this will spill over into other areas and you will likely have challenges popping up everywhere! We may be fine with working hard, but who really wants house work, parenting, travel, health, and relationships to be hard?!
The lens through which we see and the coping mechanisms we put in place as a result, have some level of affect on all areas of our lives. Decide to consciously choose so that you are not playing out subconscious fears, programs and patterns. Take the time to become aware of your perspective and consider if there is anything about the way things are shaping up in your life that you would like to change.
For some people it may be time to step out of denial and to stop maintaining unhealthy boundaries and relationships. For others it may be time to lighten up and stop seeing the glass as half empty. If you are accustomed to the rose colored lens, then look around for any situations where you might be pretending things are better than they really are due to fear of making changes.
Something to aspire to…
If your rose colored glasses are supported by a foundation of faith in your worthiness to have the best life possible AND the self trust to know that you can and will handle any issues that do come up when they come up, then there would be no need to worry about problems before they are happening and you could just sit back and enjoy the view!