The power of no
“Thank you. It’s an amazing opportunity but I’m sorry; I’m going to have to pass on this one.”
I don’t even like writing these words, let alone say them to anyone. Saying NO is really tough and I have been very bad at it.
A friend asks if I’d like another shot of samba and I can’t say no (although I’m usually the one asking).
A project, which is exciting and a great opportunity to impress. I’m stacked but “I’ll squeeze it in somehow”. Late at night and at the weekend. That’s how.
I didn’t like saying no because I didn’t want to upset people. I’d turn in work late, turn up late, or let them down in some way. THEN they’d be really upset.
I didn’t like saying no because I didn’t want to miss out. So I’d go along, even though I had something else to do. Because drinks with those friends will never ever happen again in the history of the universe. Yeah, right.
So I’ve gotten better at saying no, simply by saying it more often. The benefits are remarkable.
Saying no is kinder than letting people down. Saying no is a way of treating yourself right; choosing you and what’s important to you. Saying no gives you freedom. Saying no establishes boundaries, like yesterday when somebody put a meeting in my diary without checking if I was free. I declined, in person. “I can’t do that time. I can do half an hour later for half an hour. I see you’re free. Also, going forward, could you please check that I’m free before you schedule a meeting with me? Thank you.” Now he won’t try to hijack my time again with his priorities. That’s the power of NO.
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Originally published at www.zombietoremarkable.com on February 5, 2016.