Opting out of an unhappy relationship is usually unacceptable for most people who think that two people who promised to be together no matter what should stick together even if they are unhappy. I was one of those too.
My relationship got extremely toxic. It got to the point that I stopped living altogether because my partner was miserable (which I don’t deny as he was struggling). But it has to be mentioned that I was abandoned by my father and I have worked too hard for the past ten years to make myself independent and somewhat happy. I opted for the relationship because I was finally getting pampered which I missed the most after my father. But as soon as the attention disappeared, a strange sadness took over me which started to eat me bit by bit and I couldn’t communicate it to my partner. We started fighting every other day and finally I decided to opt out of this relationship. And the simple reason I gave up was my unhappiness. Yes I wasn’t happy and I didn’t want to be unhappy when I had everything. I didn’t want to complain when my life was otherwise amazing.
He couldn’t take it and I don’t blame him. I kept repeating the same thing that I’m not happy. I don’t dress up for you, I don’t feel like talking to you, I cry every time you meet me and I have started giving up on life because of your negativity and sadness. This didn’t settle with him but I somehow broke up.
It was painful initially and maybe it hurts even now but I’m free. I have liberated myself from the constant painful exchange of despair and hopelessness which gave me nothing but anxiety, depression and an emotional inadequacy of the proportion where I started pitying him instead of loving him.
He said mean things which I deserved because he expected me to standby him but I couldn’t. He somehow made this opting out a guilt trip for me. I couldn’t help but realise that this is the kind of toxicity most couples commit to because the idea of personal happiness is so taboo in the society. Two people cannot liberate them from the unhappy relationship because everyone around would make them feel terribly selfish. Why is prioritising personal happiness such a bizarre thing for most? Why always choose to be a hypocrite and destroy yourself just for the heck of a relationship which is going nowhere?
Why can’t I choose happiness and liberate myself from the agony of commitment without being labelled a selfish little bitch?