Release the beast
Having free spirit and very artistic characteristic, and begin born in a non artistic family has its own consequences. When you combine that with being born in an anti artistic country, it pretty much beats you up for an unhappy round of life.
You are constantly fighting against your natural instinct and ignoring them in a very cruel and harsh way and you don’t even have an option. So no matter how painful that is, you find yourself in situations that you repeat that self harassment again and again and again. Because that is what you’ve been taught to do and that is how you can get the admiration of others. By not being you, by pretending to be someone else, and carrying on with someone else’s life. Wearing their choice of cloths, studying their choice of interest, and following their choice of profession. (There is much more detail into this, which is beyond this post).
Unless you’ve experienced the situation you can’t really understand how painful that can be. If you are someone like me. You will go on with that for a while. And while you are living the life of others you are very confuse and unhappy (The satisfaction is never there). And the core inside you (the one you usually refer to it as “me”) is bursting to flames and burning you down instead of becoming an spark, lighting up your path and giving you a chance to shine.
But then one day it will hit you, right in the back of your head and you will say:
“hey you know what! I’m gonna go and live somewhere that matches me better.”
And that is just the beginning. There is a really long way from where you are to where you want to be. You can’t just hold your head above the pile of that life of yours and scream to the world:
“by the way this is not me, I am a very different person.”
Oh no you can’t do that, because all the evidence is saying otherwise, isn’t that crazy? Look! your name is above each and everyone of those papers and you’ve spent a lifetime to achieve them, so how even is that possible? And It’s not just that, let’s face it, you don’t know how to be you anymore. You haven’t had any practice in years, believe it or not you are acting differently now.
So you’ve got to keep it quiet and do it step by step. You’ve got to use your achievements to discover your lost soul. You know it’s somewhere there, waiting for you to find her and release her.
I’ve been trying to resurrect my true self for a while now. It has been a very challenging yet rewarding process, and everyday I am learning how powerful it is to be yourself. Especially as an artist that is the greatest asset. Because the originality comes from blending all the knowledge, techniques and inspirations with your true self and not being afraid of doing that. It’s hard but it’s very powerful.
In fact, everyone should try that and you get to see, you are the most powerful thing you need in your life.
Probably the world is never going to be an easy place to live, but definitely it is a beautiful place to live, if you know who you are, where you are, what you’re doing, and why you are doing it.