Where is the trap — Is it the ecosystem or woman herself?
Its amazing to see how we “women” love to add on roles and responsibilities around us as we age thus making our life so complex — daughter, daughter-in-law, wife, mother along with being a professional, traveler, writer etc. Many twitter descriptions of women have these roles mentioned :)
Has it ever crossed your mind on what does all these role tags do to us? Makes us ‘the’ but obvious owners and hence increases our to-do list for life exponentially. We should never feel guilty that each day we are able to accomplish only 30%-40% of our action list, we should rather pat our backs.
One day I got inquisitive and literally searched through web to find a man who describes himself as husband, father, son, son-in-law along with his profession and interests — there was almost zero impression across the globe! Not that I was surprised but I laughed silently to myself — may be felt happy that my hypothesis was not so incorrect…. and this kept me thinking!
This is definitely much deeper than it looks on surface, isn’t it?
What is our mental model ? What drives our aspirations? Why do we want to fulfill all these roles larger than life?
Its okay if we do not win the prize of “the best wife” or “ the best daughter” or “the best daughter-in-law” or “the best mother” — the most important thing is are we happy within? Trying to satisfy all is not possible, hence why try to make it happen in this one unique life? If we can take out just 50% of our serving time and make it available to fulfill and nurture our interests, passion and soul — wouldn’t that be awesome?
All the roles mentioned above are very important and we should definitely contribute our share to fulfill the responsibilities with utmost care and love, but why can’t we keep them subtle? Why do we need to overshadow and mask who we actually are under those responsibilities? By overemphasizing these roles we are volunteering to take lead in fulfilling them and hence somewhere through the journey miss expressing our own selves.
These famous quotes inspire me in every stage of life — “The world is only as small as you make it” and “Never Limit yourself because of the others’ limited imagination”
How true is the above statement! We make illusive world around us just to feel good and comfortable within it. But the fun lies beyond that illusive world where you need to push yourself hard to do something that you have never done before. The point is how do we want to define our fun in life?
One question that helps me define and re-define my purpose of life is “What if today is my last day in this world — do I feel content and happy?”
Here are some life choices I have found are very important observing many successful women around the world and reading about their stories:
A Must Read Book for all — Though it is influenced by Indian context of challenges and resolution in many stories. Still believe this will be inspirational for readers in other countries too.
This book is so apt given the current scenario we are in. We need girls to re-define the game rather than trying to align. We need to have a new definition of a leader, workplace and work-life integration.
Define a vision and mission statement for your own life. If you do not have a goal statement then most of your life will flow in the cruise control mode and you will be never get to sit on the driver’s seat.
Ask for help when you need, it is okay to be vulnerable. To manage a family, household and profession you will need to create a robust support system with your partner, parents and helps so that you can focus on self.
Redefine your priorities based on your life’s purpose. It is only you who can prioritize yourself and your passions over your long to-do list for others. Do not wait for external forces to define your path.
Execute on your new plan. Do not shy away or give up. Because when you give up, you create an example and a story that will be used by others to enforce another girl or woman to give up. The tale will continue…..
Keep making the right life choices and keep creating new stories that can inspire millions. Let us all create together a world for the current and future generations where these discussion topics become obsolete and irrelevant.