Where you are is not an accident.
This thought hit me pretty strongly the other day — how my entire life has been leading me up to this moment in ways I never saw coming, how some of the most beautiful things in my life have come from excruciating heartbreak and yet now, I wouldn’t trade it for a thing.
I don’t remember what triggered this thought, exactly, only the force of the revelation when it came. I found myself thinking of one of my best friends, a powerful sister who now lives in Australia. It occurred to me I wouldn’t even know her had it not been for one of the hardest times in my life: I had made a series of decisions that, at the time, I thought were leading me down one path until Life made it abundantly clear, it had made other plans.
This has happened to me a few times in my life now. I’ve always been a dreamer, inclined to pursue the most extreme version of any path, it seems, in the pursuit of being the best. The only thing is, I’ve had a habit of choosing dreams that were not actually mine to begin with. I would see a path that had made someone else happy and I’d think, hey — that could be my path, too.
This has never worked.
For better or for worse, it has always been made clear to me I am here to write my own story. Life has been quick to remind me every time I’ve forgotten or gotten sidetracked by some purpose other than my own. Let me tell you, some of these reminders have been more painful than others. Sometimes we don’t hear the alarm clock and Life has to bring out a nice big bucket of ice water to get us to really wake up. Sometimes it feels more like an anvil fell on your head, and other times it’s just this faintly nagging, persistent voice telling us something’s not quite right.
Ah, but when we listen? When we start to ask for answers and truly open ourselves to receive? Things begin to make a little more sense. At least — they start to feel less murky. Maybe you see for the first time, that thing you loved to do so much when you were a child is actually something this world needs. You fill a particular gap that no one else can, and there’s beauty in that. No matter how painful your journey has been.
There are things we are asked to live through that sometimes make no sense: the grief, the heartbreak, the tragedy. I look at these past few years and still, I have no answers. There are a lot of things I have no answers for. I don’t understand why some people are born into horrific poverty or oppression while I have all this privilege, only that I have a choice in what I do with what I’ve been given and I intend to use it to lift others up. To do that, though, first I must learn to be honest. What am I good at? What lights me up? What causes am I drawn to? What do I love — truly? What do I love?
Sometimes I think it’s easier to attach ourselves to other people’s dreams — especially if we’ve been let down in life, if we’ve had our hearts broken.
But where you are is not an accident. Who you are is not a mistake.
This is my truth. I say this and I know, Life can be painful. I’m not saying, “Everything happens for a reason,” because there are times where that feels impossible to believe. I’m saying we can find purpose in our pain, purpose in the things we’ve lived through. I’m saying there is a reason for you being here and I believe you’re here to do things no one else can.
Maybe you see for the first time, that thing you loved to do so much when you were a child is actually something this world needs. You fill a particular gap that no one else can.
Take stock of what you’ve been through. Is there some unimaginably beautiful thing you’ve experienced, some person you can’t imagine living without? Chances are that the hard things you’ve lived through have brought them to you just as much as everything else. You never quite know what you are being prepared for — you never know what wonder might be around the corner if you’re open to catch it.
Open your eyes and look around. What do you see? When we live awake, we have the opportunity to write our own stories. We get to choose where we go next.
Contemplation: where might you fill a gap by simply showing up with what you love to do? I often think we overcomplicate the concept of purpose, but it can be so simple. Start where you are, with what you have. Just try taking one step.
As a poet and word artist, Maia Thom works with words to create spaces for people to breathe and come home to themselves. In 2020, she published her first anthology, Kitchen Table Talks: Simple Reminders + Thoughts on Life. You can find her on Instagram as @maia.thom.
