(That I Only Have So There’s Something On My Resume While I Definitely Don’t Pursue Infinitely More Lucrative, Off-The-Books Things) 12:00 PM: Okay, today’s going to be different. I am going to be grateful I have any job, period. If that doesn’t work, I’ll transcend my earthly surroundings and enter an untouchable state of rapture. 12:05 PM: Why do all my coworkers hate me?! 12:10 PM *downs disgusting Starbucks™ Doubleshot…