Over the Hill, Down the Hill

I’ve reached the peak…almost and can’t help but wonder what’s next. Downhill of course but what does that mean?

It’s no mystery that death awaits at the bottom but on the way down this metaphorical hill will I finally get to live?

Laying here in bed at 2 am with my joints screaming in agony and yet another migraine I ask myself if this is it?

Is this what it means to be over the hill? My body warring against itself? My body is a temple so the saying says.

A temple teetering on a narrow mountain top close to the sun that burns in the heat flash and threatens to topple every day.

I’ve heard people don’t really get to live until their 50’s. I’m almost 40 and my body is my enemy. Will I even be able to walk then?

It’s a real fear I can’t voice to those near because they don’t understand the pain I feel deep in my body that never goes away.

I’ve lived this life for everyone else. Always working to make their life easier but now at the peak of my life, am I too late?

My body fighting against itself, makes me wonder at the quality of life I have left. Every day is a game of roulette.

Over the hill down the hill. Can I put on the breaks? Maybe click restart and play again learning from mistakes and possibly win.

A chance at a life of my own that I finally get to live. At least before the pain rolls in like a storm cloud always hovering near.