When in doubt, shift gear

When you start reaching your late twenties or setting up your early milestones in life, you always have doubts and hesitations. Should I study further? Is that what I want to be? Should I settle abroad? Can I really do that road trip? Am I really an entrepreneur type? How much I need to start a business? How much I need to start a family? Am I really looking for marriage? Is she the one? and so on.

If you answer any of them then you have to answer three more and then few more. Its a circle. Its the point where you test your values and education and then define them or you refine them. At this age we are mostly engaged in setting up long term goals for our life. Hence we keep editing our draft where we define our real happiness.

There were lot of such goals and decisions which I have passed to made it till here. Putting up few of my learnings here from the draft I have created so far.

1. Fake it till you make it

There were lot of times when I doubted my career choice, college, love for her, tour plans, road trips, companies, bank balance and even those printed shirts! Yes, those printed shirts too. Can I really carry that shirt? More importantly, can I carry my decisions? I could only conclude the battle where I replied loud and clear to me, Hell yeah! I believe your draft of life is not ready until you are not loud enough with your first voice (impulse).

2. Its never the result but what we have made out of that result

At times I succeeded on achieving my short term and mid term goals to realise, its more about my attitude than result. For example I’m pathetic with finances and hence I decided to invest via SIPs (monthly deposits) and when I achieved my goal I was more happy with my discipline than my savings. That realisation put responsibility on me to be more reasonable with my finances.

Another example to explain same with another perspective is my encounter with Zen stories. I have been reading short Zen stories since my graduation and every time I read the same story I perceive it differently (with same essence). Because of my evolving draft for life and the state of my mind (mood). Hence its good to respond to your daily acts with thoughts than just reacting with emotions.

World is impacted not by what actually happened but by what people believe actually happened. ~ Devdutt Pattanaik

3. Don’t stop experimenting till you’re young

Make sure you turn each page of theories and challenge them if you have to. Either it will make you understand theory better or will make the theory better. Be fearless with your attempts.

4. Short term goals to avoid daily frustrations

Sometimes we set up too optimistic goals for us to realise later its not real. Its important to break book into chapters so that you proceed step by step. Its never just about goals but also the detailing of everyday. Which can be as simple as greeting strangers, cooking, painting, writing or hiking. All such small breaks help you start fresh and bring small happiness of quick accomplishments.

5. Bad habits are bad but to not have good habits is worst

Its scary when you realise you want everything because you seek for nothing. To achieve long term goals we must engage ourselves with habits. Habit which lead to knowledge, health and hence happiness. This is only to make sure that your daily short term goals and achievements become your habit. Its hard to achieve long term goals without such habits.

6. Choosing right balance of people around you

Every individual plays a variety of roles in a single day. Its all about changing your hats as per your relation with one another. You’re a son, elder brother, a friend, a lover, a colleague, a manager, a neighbour and etc. In every hat you have your own needs and frustrations which should be expressed and addressed with right mentorship. Its crucial to have relatives or friends with whom we can talk about our daily ambiguities or anxieties. Such regular chats always help you to be focus and enjoy life at its best.