5 little things I’ve learned from having to enter designer shops against free will

My motto to shopping has always been quantity over quality and thus H&M, charity shops and car boot sales are my go to shopping haunts. I have not set foot in a designer shop other than that one time I bought my friend a Prada key ring. Accompanying students on a trip to the high end shops around Bond Street sure did teach me:


  1. That famous scene in ‘Pretty Woman’ is real life. Every single shop assistant in a designer shop hates you and doesn’t even dare look at you if you are not dripping in money. Except for Burberry, in Burberry they loved loved loved my summery dress. Think it was the wisest decision to not advise them where to get my £7 frock from.
  2. Double check your bag for previous purchases/ alarm risk. Walking into a shop with things that you can never afford and having the alarm go off is never a good look. Even if you clearly haven’t stolen anything (which is very hard to when walking into the shop).
  3. Photos are a big no no. Don’t tell your students that they should take pictures for their research, the assistant will tell you it is not allowed. In the most life threatening, fire spitting kind of way.
  4. Bringing in a designer shopping bag (albeit filled with on sale shoes) will not fool anybody. You might think it is a good buffer between all the glamorous clothes and your high street outfit, it is not. They see right through you and the evil stare of death is there again.
  5. You will wonder about the shop assistants. How come these people are not bored out of their minds? How come they feel so superior while still being so bored out of their minds? Why can’t we all just get along?