Why I Left My Cushy Job
(And What’s In It For You)
First we must agree on definitions. I know your heart skipped when you saw the headline, as you were happy to know that someone somewhere had a gratifying job (albeit now gone). But you know better. In today’s labour market, a “cushy job” indicates simply a semi-steady position where you or I get to do work that is not entirely meaningless and the employer pays our full respective fees regularly. No more, no less.
“Semi-steady” is the maximum I am prepared to offer here, having lost steady jobs to sudden company closures, supply contract cancellations, project expirations, wars, and the like. Nowadays, if an employer expects me to daily contribute something, and I do, and they pay me for it, and they mostly do it on time — this is cushy. For too many people — both in the formal labour market and beyond it — not even that much is guaranteed.
With all those unmerited dismissals under my belt, you would think I’d give my absolute best to keep any job that’s not so totally jinxed, if and when I get it. And you’d be right. Once my foot is in that new office door and I am entrusted with keys and security passwords, I unleash a battery of measures within a key strategy — becoming indispensable to that team, employer and mission.
Circumstances have forced me to become acquainted with so many sectors, industries and types of organizations over time, that I can claim I have a fail-proof recipe for keeping a good job (until it’s axed by force majeure, that is). These simple steps guarantee workplace survival anywhere between the Himalayas and Hawaii, Faroe Islands and the Falklands. It’s actually simple: first I absorb and assimilate, then I ponder and investigate, and finally I improve and motivate.
The initial step is to learn the ropes, and learn them quickly. An audit of the situation within hours of my first entry produces pages of notes about expectations, objectives, tools, rules, primadonnas, Voldemorts (and real office pets). The simplest questions (“should I file by client, by date or by assignment?”) work the best, as sustainability lies in fundamentals, not frills. If they have a good set up — great, I get to learn from them. If not — great, I get to improve them.
Employers fear our key-&-password threshold more than we do because they often secretly doubt their own decisions. We know what we can accomplish; they don’t. So doing the job impressively, from day one, is a must. By the end of week one, I’m happy to see them relax and start to assign bigger challenges to me, pleased with my grace under pressure (and pleased even more with themselves). This is still my phase one (absorb & assimilate) so I devour corporate profiles, annual reports, manifestos, strategies, presentation decks and any media coverage I can find. Throughout, I make notes (to myself) of whatever wrinkles, gaps and untapped opportunities I do find. Meanwhile, I produce what they hired me to do, so all is as well as well can be.
Leaders are busy people and they get distracted soon enough. This allows for further exploration. I observe. I analyze. I put my notes to good use. Are sensible procedures in place, streamlining communication and workflow? Are duties clearly assigned or are there blind spots — any cracks that problems can fall between? Are staff and management pleased to come to work or do they curse their miserable luck for landing them there? (This, you guessed it, is my phase two — ponder and investigate).
My forte is asking out loud, with a disarming smile, the awkward questions that nobody ever asks (from “why is there a column for whether a call was received or not in the Received Calls Form?”, through “who will log the client’s input so we wouldn't be penalized if in fact the client is late?”, to ”how will we prepare a budget before we know how many people actually need that training?”). Soon enough all forms are simplified, the budgets cover multiple scenarios and input from the clients is logged with precision. It’s time for phase three (improve and motivate).
This is the easiest, most fun period — the time for fine-tuning the office mechanism. No one talks to each other? I’ll start doing an afternoon round with a fruit salad, which soon becomes a much anticipated refreshing moment everyone uses to briefly gather in the kitchen and share ideas (and berries) crowding around an ever-growing fruit plate. Frustrating piles of printed documents float across desks, unable to find their way back into the chaotic filing system? An automatic insertion of file path information at the bottom of pages is all it takes to unclog that traffic jam. Too many competing egos in a small space, quick to snap and lash out at one another? A well stocked fridge and timely snacks help balance blood sugar levels and reduce the overall level of nervousness. The possibilities, as you see, are endless.
Such minute changes go a long way; it doesn't take much for everyone on any team, its management included, to appreciate and endorse improvements. Once they do and everything is humming nicely, that’s when you've become indispensable and your job is indeed cushy. Never mind that your plate has tripled in volume — my point exactly: no employer would risk losing a hard-working, meticulous, upbeat self-starter with a penchant for healthy snacks at after hours. But, you see, they cannot stop themselves.
Ay, there’s the rub. If you are smiling, reminded of your own experiences by these common-place examples, please stop. It’s a very serious issue that in so many offices worldwide so much misplaced complacence can be detected (and easily challenged) by any conscientious newcomer. Why are so many problems left unresolved, so much unnecessary friction tolerated, so many flawed processes endured? Ever heard of work-related stress?
Can you concede now that a large part of all frustration at work is not due to the immutable laws of physics or to fate or deficient regulation, but to mere dispiriting inertia? The aggregate avoidable stress in workplaces worldwide — if unchallenged for long — causes not just wasted toner and paper and untapped opportunities, but detachment, frustration, anxiety, anger, depression, heart trouble and all manner of individual suffering on a mass scale.
How do I know this? As I look back on my career, I see a pattern. I've walked away from futile jobs not once or twice, but many times in fact. (So now you are wondering if I am not simply a serial quitter. Just you hope.)
Let me explain this apparent compulsion. There is no magic filter which keeps low-level low standards in place, but eliminates high-level low standards without fail. Organizations either work to weed out all flaws, big or small, or they cannot be bothered to address either. I've learnt to distinguish between these two types of teams the hard way and I now know how effective I will be as soon as I come on board.
A reformist like me is almost redundant in self-improving environments. It’s like adding compost to a sunny meadow; its impact is wasted. In contrast, adding compost to a wasteland can make a big difference short term, but can this blossoming last, if the soil is in fact toxic?
One company I worked for produced and sold content centred around heroes, yet company values were left out from strategic conclusions of a professionally moderated first-ever staff retreat. Of course, during the brainstorming session, I was the one to bring up this gaping discrepancy (“we seek out heroes for profit, but we refuse to act like them?”) — and was politely asked to forget about it. But I wasn’t the only one to find it unacceptable; within three months of the retreat, the heads of three key divisions had left the company they had earnestly helped build.
My rationale is simple: since I’m expected to consistently live up to my credentials, I only work for organizations that equally walk the talk. I think it’s only fair to expect employers to be authentic in how they employ our collective energies. If we are instituting life-long learning across the country, even our top experts should be willing to grow their own knowledge base. If we develop capacity or self-management in organizations, our own office must be an example of self-driven efficiency and accountability and not leave much transparency to be desired. And if we foster economic empowerment in the world, let’s first make sure we pay our dues on time. Be truly principled. Or be plain lame.
I have had the rare privilege to observe the best talent at work worldwide. They don’t stay unemployed. This is because in Southeast Asia, North America, Western or Central Europe, everywhere in this world, they give their best at all times and they can prove it. Constructive and patient, they respect their supervisors, clients, suppliers, coworkers and customers, without fail. They don’t lose their heads in a crunch, don’t cause delays or waste resources and don’t lash out at anyone in the times of stress.
But the best workers don’t care for arrogance, incompetence or career conformism very much. They don’t have to. Top-notch professionals can choose where, when and for whom they wish to work — and they invariably eventually exercise that option. Please make a note of this: cushy jobs and perks are immaterial to them; a harmony of goals and means is essential to them.
The marketplace demands more and more authenticity from brands, companies and organizations, extolling some at the detriment of others; I simply demonstrate that the labour market does the same, internally. Some organizations and employers learn that lesson; some never do. Guess which ones languish in the limbo and which ones grow beyond their — and our — wildest dreams.
P.S. Any resemblance to actual organizations, public or private, is purely coincidental.
