Make America Again: Pilot

Welcome to Make America Again, a safe place, where we re-post Donald Trump’s soundbytes without all those p̶e̶s̶k̶y̶ adjectives. The Donald may be none too pleased with this, as adjectives are powerful weapons in his “best words” artillery, but the goal of Make America Again is to discover what our president-elect is really getting at, beneath all the platitudes.

Wait, what are we making again?

Our rules are simple — we’ll delete all of the unnecessary adjectives, including (but not limited to): amazing, terrific, tremendous, fabulous, smart, huge, yuge — and, of course — bigly. There will be times when we have to retain certain adjectives for clarity’s sake, but we’ll do our best to dig deep and emerge with Trump’s fundamental message.

Apologies if this is bigly disappointing

For our first post, we’ll tackle Mr. Trump’s recently released conversation with Pakistan’s Prime Minster, Nawaz Sharif. The weight of the phone call cannot be overstated, as the United States’ relationship with Pakistan is a truly delicate one, primarily because of Pakistan’s touchy relationship with their next-door neighbors in India. But Mr. Trump, not usually one to be bothered with such trifling matters as a potential nuclear war, went right ahead with the phone call with seemingly little to no preparation. (A note: since the transcript of the phone call was released by Sharif’s office, the English is slightly mangled. We’ve kept the errors in order to ensure accuracy.)

Pakistan: a place of people (as you’ll see)

What you are about to read is Donald Trump’s conversation with Nawaz Sharif, complete with everything but (most of) the adjectives:

Nawaz Sharif you have a reputation. You are a guy. You are doing work which is visible in ways. I am looking forward to seeing you. As I am talking to you, I feel i am talking to a person I have known. Your country has opportunities. Pakistanis are people. I am ready and willing to play any role that you want me to play to address and find solutions to the problems. It will be an honor and I will do it. Feel free to call me any time even before 20th January that is before I assume my office. I would love to come to a country, a place of people. Please convey to the Pakistani people that they are people.”

Truly moving, indeed. We can only hope Trump is just as descriptive with India’s president, Pranab Mukherjee. Now get out there and Make America Again!