Staying True to Your Core Values
Qualified Business Coach & NLP practitioner Vicky Martinez Dorr discusses the value of staying true to your inner self.
In marketing, one of the most basic rules is this: if you promote a job or a business idea based on ‘its cover’ you will only get ‘front page’ followers. If you promote A (the cover) and you then deliver B (the substance beneath the surface), people will feel disappointed, like you mis-sold to them. This same principle can be applied in our personal lives: if your outer world does not match your inner world, you will feel misaligned and frustrated with life.
To give a personal example, some time ago I went to an interview for a job position that was quite ‘high up the ladder’ in an HR company. After an initial phone call to get to know each other, the offer sounded fantastic. It was and interesting project, under a good company name, and I was excited. The first interview went pretty well. I met my ‘future bosses’ and understood a bit more about the position. By the time I made it to the third interview, we were already talking about working hours, contract types, fees to charge, and goals. I was 90% convinced about the job, but I thought to myself: you can’t always have it all.
In that final interview, we suddenly started talking about targets. One of those people who would soon be my boss said, ‘Vicky, these are the numbers you have to reach by the end of month — these by the end of quarter — and this is the bonus you will get if you hit your yearly goals.’
I said to myself, Fair enough. That’s doable.
Then my future boss, now in a more comfortable position, sat back in his chair and assertively continued: ‘And you know, at the end of the day, we are a capitalist company. Yeah, we work with and for people, but to be honest, people are just a number for us. We don’t really care beyond that.’
My brain immediately switched off from this conversation (and from the room) and I tuned into my core. I asked to myself these two questions:
- Am I aligned with the values this person is sharing with me?
- Do I want to report to a person with this mindset?
That was the end of the interview.
That same night, I had dinner with some friends and they asked me, ‘So, how did the interview go? Did you get the job? When do you start?’
And I happily replied, ‘I turned it down.’
My friends looked at me, puzzled, and said, ‘But why? You were chosen! You can’t turn down a job offer like that!’
‘Yes,’ I said, ‘but I didn’t choose them. It wasn’t about the job, it wasn’t about contract conditions, it wasn’t about the money. It was about values.’
For me, people are more than numbers. My philosophy is: ‘We should be promoting people who believe in people.’ This is not my own idea; it is a quote from author, motivational speaker and marketing consultant Simon Sinek, whom I profoundly admire. To have taken a job working for people who did not share this philosophy would have been dishonest to myself.
Staying Aligned with Your Core Values
I know this is not the magic potion for everyone. The reality is that we all need to work and sometimes we give in, because we need to ‘pay the bills.’ However, I had learned from experience that if I gave in and took that job, I would find myself taking too many sick days, or endless holidays, to try to relax and rid myself of the stress that comes from working in a place that did not fit with my mindset. I would find myself frustrated and demotivated or (the best-case scenario) simply not loving what I did.
In my work in business and in coaching, I have learned that you have to be consistent in what you do. For all you entrepreneurs and corporate leaders out there, if you want to lead a good business, you must promote people who believe in people — people who have that ‘weird’ talent called ‘being human’. At the foundation of everything should be empathy — and as my grandmother always says, work always starts at home. In other words, it starts with you.
With that in mind, next time you find yourself considering your next move in life, go and have a coffee with yourself. Sit down in a lovely local café, somewhere that makes you feel at home and relaxed, and hold a true, honest conversation with your present and your future selves. Ask those selves:
· What do you really want?
· What values do you want to see in the people around you?
· How hard are you willing to work to make that happen?
· What concessions are you willing to make to have a balanced and fulfilled life?
I am no Mother Teresa. I do not judge or blame those who want to work in a competitive, savage corporate environment. You like it? Go and get it. It’s all yours. The point of my story is that it wasn’t for me. That final sentence spoken at the end of multiple long job interviews, and endless negotiations in between, hit me so hard and made so much ‘noise’ that it helped me (easily) step down. Why? Because I listened to myself, to what I knew at my core was good for me, not for them. I did what was best for my future, not for their present. It was bold and was risky, but hey! I can assure you it was the wisest choice.
My message to you is: BE REAL. Deliver what you promise, right to the core, 100% of the time. Be transparent — in your intentions and your goals, in your achievements and your failures.
Make an impact. Take that leap of faith and start that necessary new chapter in your life. Always strive to become a better version of yourself, no matter what side of the negotiation table you are on.
I hope you found this article interesting. For more insights, please be sure to follow this blog so you won’t miss out on future articles. If you want more, you can follow me on: https://www.facebook.com/makingpeopleshine/
If you think you could benefit from some one-to-one coaching, book your FREE ‘discovery’ consultation via Skype here, and let’s find out how I can help you: https://calendly.com/makingpeopleshine/15min
Vicky Martinez Dorr is a qualified business coach, with certifications in NLP and TimeLine Therapy®. Her ‘Making People Shine’ concept merges coaching with NLP techniques and specific creative ways to help people re-connect with themselves and re-wire their brains, to become a better version of themselves, both at a personal and business level.
Vicky is also an artist and a serial entrepreneur, and her 13+ years of Marketing experience in international, multi-cultural business have taught her how to ‘reach’ different personalities at all levels in the personal and business environment. In her work, she teaches clients to tap into that skill and ‘win through’ their audiences more effectively and authentically.
You can learn more about Vicky by visiting her world at www.vickymartinezdorr.com.