Cody, while I appreciate your artist/creative aspirations and respect your willingness to be open about your journey, I don’t share the perspective of the other readers. Personally, I found your piece to be naive and even somewhat cheesy (starting the story with masturbating into a cup is 100% gratuitous and gimmicky). You sound like a lost puppy dog, emotionally unaware of your surroundings or even basic human biology. Your “myth of the One” is like a six year old’s idea of marriage.
The bottom line is you fucked up. You introduced instability and encouraged your woman to find something concrete and anchored (at a time when she was highly vulnerable) because you were not able to be her rock. Going to her business partner was the obvious conclusion, as after years of working together she knew what to expect from him. While you don’t say this, he likely wasn’t half the man or husband you could have been, but was twice the man you were able to be.
Honestly, and I’m not trying to be a dick, because art and expression are hard, but there was nothing I learned from your piece. While I haven’t read anything else of yours, IMHO, your writing and art would improve if you stop being self-indulgent and worked to find the universal truth that connects us all to your experience. To the extent that there was one it was, “don’t cheat on your wife, tell her and then try and “fix” the relationship by grasping at structured infidelity.” I didn’t feel your willingness to take any personal responsibility, instead you created this veil of openness without actually getting to the root of the issue.
I’m sure I’ll get hammered for my comments, but I thought you might appreciate a different perspective.