A Eulogy for Mom
One might imagine that raising the three of us – Matthew, Neila, and I – would be quite a tall order. In fact, I think that would be, by a wide margin, an understatement. But not for our mom. Not for Lucie.
My whole life I’ve been absolutely astonished at how she could keep our otherwise hectic world in motion. Preparing meals, packing lunches, helping us with our homework, driving us to sports, taking us to the beach, camping, vacuuming the house at 6 am, waking us up to get us ready for school – all of these things she did with a grace that seemed so natural.
However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that she wasn’t born with this innate ability – I don’t think anybody actually is – she just made a decision when she had us about the kind of life she wanted, and the kind of life she’d provide, and she knew it wasn’t going to be easy.
And so she worked extremely hard on the details, and she did so early and often enough when we were just little kids, learning to take our first steps, and discovering the world around us, that by the time we started getting distracted by things in our teenage and young adult years, she had become so good at that she just made it look easy. It was her discipline and commitment to her children that honed that quality and we grew up loved and never wanting for anything because of it.
Looking through photos and seeing her smiling face, I find myself inspired by how much joy she seemed to take in life. In the company of her friends, and around her family – she absolutely beamed. She was silly. She had a hilarious laugh, and she loved dressing up for Halloween at the Legion.
She really wanted to set a good example for us so that we’d grow up to be decent.
One of my most salient memories is of a fight I had with my brother. I was probably six or seven years old and I yelled at him that I hated him. And I think everyone here has heard this exact line of parental wisdom – she sat me down and said “you shouldn’t use the word hate – hate is a strong word”. And of course, she’s right; hate is a strong word. But it’s never been my nature to simply listen to good advice, so I prodded back “but mom you must hate someone…” She paused, thinking for a moment, and said, “well I used to hate Kenny Pierrard.” Colour me surprised when many years later she phoned me to tell me how in love she was with Kenny! Earlier this month, while spending some time alone with her, I asked her about that reply, all those years ago, and she said – “I’ve actually always had a crush on him, dear”. Of course she did and it showed every day.
My mom didn’t hate. She wasn’t always pleased, but she didn’t hate. Once, when we were talking about life (as we’d often do), I asked her what she thought about heaven, and hell, and religion and all that. She thought for a moment and then said simply – “be a good person, that’s what it’s all about.” I’ll never forget that line because she lived that way, and it shows, in seeing all the people gathered here today to pay tribute to this lovely woman, a caring member of our community, doting wife and loving mother – our Mom. It’s been so heartening to receive messages and hear stories from those who knew her about how she could take such a genuine interest in a quick chat or brighten one’s day with a cheery hello. She really liked to catch you doing something well, and she’d let you know she thought you were doing great.
There’s a quote by Maya Angelou in which she says:
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
And I think that’s very true about Mom.
