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Ok, look, I don’t want to get in a position where you feel that I am not hearing you and / or you feel that I, as a cis-male ally, am ignoring your experience or rejecting it.

I have a number of close friends who are trans and others who self-identify as “Gender Queer” and none of them have ever described the term “Gender Identity” as belittling or drawn a line from it to the (I agree) very belittling “Lifestyle Choice” which is not a choice at all, but a Sexual Identity or Sexuality or some similar term.

I am genuinely sorry for using language that you find / found belittling, it was not my intention. My only intention was to point out that you don’t know me, you don’t know my level of awareness and ramming your particular point / agenda down my throat from that position of ignorance, and trying to insult me in return is not doing you any favours.

If you want to have a civil discussion about the particular challenges faced by people struggling with coerced gender assignment, then I am more than happy to talk to you about that, but while I would concur that proportionately they are the target of more rape and abuse than cis-gender individuals, the problem is one of acceptance + consent. That is to say that we need to struggle for acceptance for all and we need to educate about the central requirement for consent and respect of it. That way CASAB people and everyone else __should__ benefit from our shared endeavour to eradicate rape and abuse motivated by fear, ignorance and hate.

I am not saying that you should not call attention to the specific group or groups that matter most to you, that you may (quite rightly I would say) feel are under represented, but adopting a combative tone with people who you have judged simply based on the particular groups they appear to have omitted or because they appear to be ignorant (because something that they may have said on the internet suggests that their entire world-view is myopically cis-centric) is not necessarily the route most likely to lead to cohesion and support.