To be honest I’m scared and apprehensive about doing a blog.

I have over the decades attempted several journal/article type blogs only to, in a fit of all-consuming doubt, completely delete every trace, including Medium. It’s inevitable. It’s what I do. I’ve thought long and hard about this cycle, defect actually.

So why even create one in the first place?

  • Desperate need to connect.
  • Because what I say I want acknowledged, a few people who actually took the time to read what I wrote, and maybe even leave a comment.
  • To share what is important to me hoping others will find it important too (make them smile, agree, think, offer alternates.)

Why do I delete them?

  • Complete insecurity-especially when what I post doesn’t get read which leads to…
  • Fear of my inability to say anything of value.
  • Fear that my writing skills are subpar and everyone will sit in judgement of that.
  • Because I felt that I’ve exposed my self too much, do I really want the whole world to read it, have access to the part of me that wrote the post?

So every time I write all the above lives in my head. I don’t like it and I can’t seem to control it, those nasty I’m not worthy thoughts.

Perhaps if I were a professional blog writer and made my living with words all that stuff wouldn’t apply? Writing a blog/ articles is far more foreign to me than writing a script or manuscript and scarier.

What still remains a mystery to me is how to do This while not being effected by every fear I have listed.