In the midst of darkness : you find light

(Flash Fiction)

In the midsts of darkness
you find light 
Light that introduces 
peace to all that seek for it
Peace that you thought
You would never find 
Maybe it is an illusion 
Maybe the feeling of
finding peace and love in 
this society isn’t a real
As most make it seem 
Maybe In the midsts of 
darkness you find light 
Light that helps you rise 
above everything that is against you.
I found her in a dark place, a place where many people attend when they are not feeling like themselves. This lady was golden, golden like the perception of heaven, at the same time she was gentle, like a parent holding their newborn child. I and she were last seen in a dark room, she approached me and started a conversation that stuck with me in my lowest moments.

Her: Hi how are you doing today?
Me: I’m right 
Her: what is iight? I’m not familiar with the word 
Me: let’s just say I’m not myself, I’m not aware of my identity and I want to be alone right now 
Her: Maybe you need to come with me so I can help you find your inner self 
Me: I have been living long enough to know that life is best when you do things yourself 
Her: well to me it seems like doing things by yourself hasn’t helped you, let me know when you are ready.

At that moment, I reflected on my life, I sat in silence for hours 
covered in my own shame and resentment
I was questioning my worth and was unaware of my purpose and In this location
 I noticed that I wasn’t the only one, feeling this way.
There was a guy named Abdul and Abdul was a guy I met that has also been through trials and tribulations in his life Abdul basically told me that he was not proud of his situation and he must move on in order to get out of this place. I then agreed and went back to my space and thought about the brief conversation that I had with the lady earlier, I tried to get my mind off of the conversation but her last words stuck with me, so I decided that it would be best if I found her before I self-destruct.

Then I found her, she was beaming and I couldn’t ignore 
her presence like I once did before
this time she passed me but only this time she didn’t say anything. This time I took it upon myself to say something to her while she was slowly drifting away like sun
 taking its last breaths before night.
As she slowly was going by I stopped her and said “I’m ready now” and at first she didn’t want to give me a chance because I didn’t give her a chance to help me before, out of all the people that swore they loved me, she seemed to be the only one who cared about my mental health.
We began to discuss life, she seemed like she had me all figured out before I can say a word. She looked at me as if I was an angel, an angel that was in confinement, self-confinement that is she believed that I have allowed myself to become a prisoner of my own thoughts. Now when she said all of that I was confused, I knew that my life wasn’t normal and the great things society had to offer was like an illusion to me. 
We were now about two hours into our conversation by now and as she continued talking I found myself reflecting on the person that I was before I entered this thing we call self-confinement.
I was a bright kid, I loved going to school, I smiled more and was very energetic, though sometimes I let my competitiveness get me into intense arguments that led me to detention.
I wanted to be the best at everything and I wanted to prove that I was, especially when the cute girls were watching but somewhere down the line I lost my confidence and became a follower.

I was trapped, I didn’t allow myself to feel anymore, as time flew by I only smiled to hide the pain and live up to people’s expectations instead of living up to my own and being responsible. 
Many of us suffer from self-confinement but many of us have and will break the chains that stop us from growing into the people we want to be, I am survivor and I must say that releasing yourself from self-confinement is not easy but trust me when I say that time will reveal the light for you once you trust the process of life. 
the light represents the possibilities, the hope, and love
that you will gain once you embrace your struggles.
This girl I met in this dark place was the light
she was everything I asked for in my time in self-confinement 
When I barely felt like breathing. she gave me air
 to keep living in a world that doesn’t believe in life for all people 
In the midsts of darkness, you will find light and once it is in your possession nobody and not even you will be able to deny her presence.

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