My Breasts, My Story

Breasts! I could write about them for hours, look at them for days, and touch them every chance that I get. Am I a “tit’’ woman? There must be a natural attraction.

According to most of us, breasts are “heavy”, “round", or “firm”, “full", or “naked”. Everyone seems to have their own description about breasts until when cancer suddenly appears…Then breasts fall into the version of breast cancer.

The year is 2021 and it’s still a taboo in Tanzania to talk about breasts in public. But where do we start when a friend or loved one receives a breast cancer diagnosis? What can you say that won’t scare or upset your friend or loved one? What can you say that will give them the hope and strength they need to confront cancer? What is breast cancer?

Breast cancer is a type of cancer that starts in the breast. Cancer starts when cells begin to grow out of control. Breast cancer cells usually form a tumor that can often be seen on an x-ray or felt as a lump. Breast cancer occurs almost entirely in women, but men can get breast cancer too. To easily understand the illness, please refer to Tanzania Breast Cancer Foundation; a group of warriors who survived breast cancer by proudly participating in supporting women and other affected individuals in their fight against breast cancer while promoting best practices and improved healthcare in breast cancer and promoting prevention and early detection measures through awareness to increase survival rates.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month created to increase awareness and attention each year. Often, cancer patients or friends and family feel isolated and alone with this illness. While each person’s experience is unique, knowing that others have gone through something similar can provide the support and inspiration necessary to keep things in perspective, plus encouraging words and mantras can be a beacon of light during troubled times.

I recently asked the cancer patients, survivors and caregivers in my community to share the best things to say or do to someone with cancer.

Here’s what they recommend.

• “We’ll get through this together. You’re not facing cancer alone.”
• “I am praying for you.”
• “Go to Dr. Ravinder. Here’s her number +255 746 002 537.”
• “I am here for you.” Then follow through and really be there.
• Don’t ask what you can do to help or say, “Let me know if you need anything.” Many people will never ask for help even though they need it. Instead, jump in and do whatever you can to make things easier for your friend or loved one. Cook or deliver meals. Go to appointments. Listen. Hold hands. Offer to watch the children.
• Choose positive, hopeful words, but don’t give people false hope or talk about other people’s cancer outcomes. Remember, each person is different, and hearing other people’s stories may scare your friend or loved one.
• Just say something. Many people ignore cancer patients and caregivers when they’re diagnosed because they don’t know what to say. But that only makes them feel worse. Sometimes “hello” or “I love you” is enough.
• “You are strong. You can do this.”
• “Never, never, never give up.”
• The great gift is to be a sounding board. Just listen. Your friend or loved one has a lot to think about.
• Don’t focus on your own worries and sadness about your friend or loved one’s diagnosis. The patient or caregiver shouldn’t feel like he or she has to take care of you. Instead, offer strength, humor and practical help.
• Accept that sometimes words fail us. Often, the best thing is to offer hugs, show up.

Breast cancer is an incredibly difficult disease to fight or to watch a loved one go through. However, no one has to go through it alone. Breast Cancer Awareness is not just for October month. Our voices are a powerful tool to remind our loved ones that they have the love, support, and drive they need to fight this disease.

Failing our breasts is not an option.