Meet “Ed”, The Voice of My Eating Disorder
Imagine your best friend. They are someone you trust, someone you believe, someone you understand. They know you inside and out and always wants what is best for you. Now, imagine if your best friend pointed out your flaws. Things that you were embarrassed about. Things that made you insecure. How would you react? Would you be angry? Would you believe them? Maybe they’re telling you to help you. Like when you are grateful someone told you you had green stuff stuck in your teeth- it saves you from embarrassment later on. If no one told you about the green stuff and then you found out hours later after you have been smiling to countless people, you would think, “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
That was my thought process. I thought my mind was only trying to help me.
It started out small. It began when I stepped on a scale for the first time in a long time and was shocked at the number. My mind told me I needed to lose weight and I believed it. I started dieting and when I hit my calorie limit, my mind told me that I ate enough for the day. If I was still hungry, my mind would tell me that I wasn’t. Your mind knows you best, right? It will only tell you the truth, right?
I’ve learned over the years that we lie to ourselves more often than we lie to anyone else, and the scary part is that most of the time, we don’t even know…
