I am,

creative, friend, contemplative, daughter of the one true King, reflective, imaginative, sister, introspective, lively, confidant, joyful

I love,

friends, family, words, sunsets, skies, flowers, laughter, smiles, rain, forests, art, colors, eyes, dogs, books, movies, ice cream, letters, singing, music, writing, rivers, fellowship, starlight, poetry, summer, running, traveling

I wish,

to be in love with the Lord, to be transparent, to invest in people, to be real

This journal entry was focused on me as a person. Who I am, what I love, and what I wish to be. Do you ever sit and analyze yourself? Your thoughts, actions, passions? It's scary what you can find when you look close enough at your heart. What's also scary is what other people see. Do they see the same things I do?

When I look at my heart and soul, I see a lot of things I struggle with. My thoughts are selfish, along with my actions. I may not say mean things all the time, but I sure do think them. It is a constant battle with my mind. I also often lack compassion and understanding. I judge people by their actions, and once I have made an opinion, it is hard for me to change it. Also, you might not hear me swear aloud, but sometimes I catch myself wanting to swear in my head, and I am so ashamed. Swearing is such a vulgar thing, and it pains me that I am often close to saying those hideous words aloud.

Even with all that I do wrong on a daily basis, I can have joy because I am a daughter of the one true King. My identity is in Christ, and he helps me with my struggle with sin every day. I will never have to face it alone. Isn't that so comforting?

What is pressing on my heart the most right now, is my desire as a believer to be transparent - to be vulnerable with people and not be worried that I don't have it all together. I need to be real with myself as well as others. It does me no good to put on an act. I want to be real and genuine. I have great admiration for people who are just themselves and don't pretend to be someone else. These days, that is hard to come by. My confidence needs to be in Christ, and in Christ alone. Proverbs 3:26 "For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught." Proverbs 14:26 "In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge."