Herp, Herp, Hooray!
Usher, you played yourself.

Usher, you let shame and stigma control your actions and scare you into paying a past sexual partner $1.1 millon for an irritating, but absolutely unthreatening, STD that she could have gotten at any point in her life.
This could have been an opportunity for Usher to come out and be “the face of herpes” in a way that would change the shame and stigma around it. Herpes is still seen as a dirty little secret, but two-thirds of the population has oral herpes simplex virus (HSV), or HSV-1. One in six people has genital herpes or HSV-2.
If you’ve ever had a cold sore, congratulations! You have HSV-1!
Of all the STDs out there that can seriously harm you, herpes has absolutely no long-term life-threatening effects. It can be left untreated and you will be perfectly fine. It is a neural virus – affecting neural, or nerve, tissue -meaning that you will only ever get an outbreak in that one spot. If you have an active outbreak and exchange fluid with someone else or to another part of your body, you can spread the virus to another neural site.
The likelihood of passing the herpes virus on when you’re not having an active outbreak is less than 50%. And if you take Valtrex, it’s less than 2%. For people with weakened autoimmune systems, herpes can be more irritating - meaning more frequent and painful outbreaks. This is not something that is going to permanently debilitate you, unlike chlamydia and gonorrhea if left untreated.

What we know now is that Usher’s out there having unprotected sex – just like 71% of the population. He is also not talking about his sexual health history with his partners. Telling someone that you have herpes isn’t a reason for them to run for the hills. You’re helping them make informed decision about their sexual health.
The choice is simple: wear a condom or disclose your sexual health in a way that’s non-judgmental. The first person that judges us most harshly is ourselves. Reframing the idea of oral herpes as cold sores is a good start. Having genital herpes does not mean that you have been struck down by the sex gods to forever walk this Earth as a sexual outcast – regardless of what the media and pop culture might have you believe. It means that once every few months you’re going to have to find other forms of sex for a few days if your partner doesn’t want to have the virus transmitted to them. Your sexual health experience needs to include disclosure regardless of outbreak status and it’s a good start to stopping stigma.
There is no reason that you can't have a healthy, thriving sex life with herpes. And Usher's expensive fornication faux pas does nothing more than show that he's still in the dark about this sexual health topic that needs to be brought to light.
Kenna is a sex educator & she REALLY likes talk about safer sex, so follow her on Twitter.
