Take Some Time to Touch Yourself
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. -Oscar Wilde
May is Masturbation Month! I celebrate this holiday every month, but this month is a great opportunity to take a look at your self-love self-care and remember to take time to touch yourself. If you want to get in touch with your body, the ways you receive pleasure, and some ideas that you might be hung up on around sex, masturbation is a perfect resource to have at your fingertips.
Here are some tips from my bedroom to yours on ways to make self-love part of your self-care.
I may never meet Ruby Rose or Evan Rachel Wood, but we have a very consensual, passionate, intense relationship in my mind. One of my favorite parts of masturbation is fantasy. If you allow yourself to get lost in desire in a way that is uninhibited and shame-free, you can achieve more intense form of pleasure.
Let your mind go. Let it wander to places that you might never explore outside of your imagination. You can take your inspiration from erotica you've read, pornographic images you've seen or just whatever fantasy lies deep within your desires.
The most important thing to remember here is that no matter what you find yourself thinking about, your sexuality is not shameful. As long as you’re is a safe space for self-love, you go on and get off to the thought of riding Bill Nye’s face while he talks to you about climate change!
Lube lube lube. I cannot stress lubrication enough. The wetter the better!
Finding your favorite brand of lube is like finding your favorite brand of ice cream. You have to try a lot and some might seem the same but have very nuanced differences. My favorite lubes are water-based and unscented.
I’ve tried aloe lube, silicone lube, cinnamon roll flavored lube, and for me the best is something very simple. I like Wet Platinum. It comes in a gigantic dispenser bottle which makes it easy for self use during self-love. Saliva is also a great lubricant if you are in a bind.
Remember that lubrication isn’t just for penetration, and stimulation almost always feels better when you have adequate lubrication.
I took a long time to add masturbation into my self-care routine. When I was in high school - the Golden Age of masturbation- I was extremely ashamed of touching myself and didn’t learn about the intricacies of my body. This meant that I was typically putting my pleasure in the hands of other people, which made me feel disengaged about the truth that I am the source of my pleasure.
Once I got my first waterproof vibrator in college (rest in peace lime green bullet that I took into the ocean and proceeded to lose), I learned that I could have orgasms and experience pleasure in a much faster, much different way than I ever did with a partner.
Now, masturbation is something that I don’t see as selfish or unimportant. I even save money every month for my sex toy budget. I bought myself an njoy pure wand that I had been eyeing and it was one of the most exciting purchases I’ve made in a long time.
There’s nothing shameful or unattractive about learning how your body responds to self touch and stimulation. Making yourself orgasm is extremely empowering. Loving yourself starts with some self lovin’!
If you’re looking for more resources on masturbation tips and how to reclaim your pleasure, check out O.school for pleasure education live streams and tutorials.