Wrap It Up!

Every time you have unprotected oral sex, you are having unsafe sex.

Kenna Cook
Aug 28, 2017 · 3 min read

Most sexually transmitted infections —including HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, and HPV— can be transmitted during oral sex by either partner. Not only can you get a chlamydia or gonorrhea infection in your throat if your partner is infected, but antibiotic resistant strains of “super” gonorrhea have been reported in more than 77 countries. It’s time that we start talking about why STI rates are the historically highest ever and how we can change it.

“You don’t enjoy a lollipop with the wrapper on.”

It’s a blowjob, not a Blow Pop.

Overall, both heterosexual and LGBT folks relate condom use with penetrative sex only. The use of protection during oral sex - either condoms or dental dams - is virtually non-existent in both the queer and straight communities.

Not wanting to deal with the "hassle" of sexual protection is something we have been socialized to believe is normal. Most teen boys were taught that sex with a condom won’t ever feel good. Television and films never show oral sex with protection. Do you even know where to purchase a dental dam? (Fun fact: you can use Saran Wrap as a safe oral sex barrier for vuvlas!)

But not using protection also depends on relationship agreements. In a closed, monogamous relationship, people are less likely to wear a condom because of their agreement to not have sex with people outside of the two of them. But testing status disclosure is a huge issue for single folks in the dating community. If you don't know your status because you just got out of a monogamous relationships with a close sexual agreement, it is easy enough to lie about being negative and then have unprotected sex.

Many STIs don't come with any visible symptoms, so it's not like you can rely on a quick once-over to keep you protected. Most people have no idea they have an STI if they don't have symptoms, so trusting your partner has little to do with having safer sex if you’re not on a consistent testing routine for STIs.

Get tested before you get it on!

The ways in which we engage in sex is a personal choice. The boundaries I have about my body have little at all to do with how I feel about my partner. Many couples report that wearing a condom when they are in a committed, closed sexual relationship creates a barrier to intimacy. This is another societal myth that we need to stop believing. Just because I ask you to wear a condom in no way means I think you are dirty or cheating or that I don’t love you.

Also, let’s acknowledge that we don’t do safer sex perfectly every time. I certainly haven’t. But don’t let that stop you from continuing to get tested, be honest and try to have safer sex.

Not knowing your sexual health status can seriously harm your body. HPV is spread through unprotected sex and can cause cervical cancer. Continuing to have unprotected sex will continue to infect more people with these cancerous HPV cells that are typically undetectable until they are at a more accelerated stage.

For me personally, I ask penis-having partners to wear protection during penetrative sex because I had Stage 1 cervical intraepithelial neoplasia (CIN) this year. This means that about one-third of my cervical cells were abnormal when extracted during a colposcopy. It is estimated that 1 in 6 women will have CIN 1 abnormal cervical cells in their lifetime due to unprotected sex.

Condoms are effective at protecting you from 98% of STIs, but you need to know your status and not bet on luck to keep you safe.

Kenna is a sex educator that believes pleasure is your birth right! Find more of her insights on Twitter.

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Kenna Cook

Written by

Sex-Positive Parent & Sex Educator | Pan, Poly & Proud | Honey Nut Queerio🌈 #TransLove #BlackLivesMatter

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