Men Are Doing the Work

The Divine Masculine is about returning to love in the face of fear.

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Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Such pretty little words, ‘divine masculine,’ but what do they mean?

Google will bring up a range of definitions spanning from SEO masterclass industry jargon to humble soul-searching opinion.

For me, it's our brothers’ spiritual coming of age. Men are being encouraged (to the dismay of some misinformed people) to honor their own humanity in all its facets, to feel the feels they’ve been denied and act on them.

It’s a shifting of restrictions on what a man is allowed to be, what he's allowed to do and feel, how he expresses himself, influences his peers and the next generation.

Pain isn’t quantifiable, let alone comparable.

While women have endured and fought against a full range of societal prisons affecting everything from our bodies to our participation in the world…

… Men have also been suffocating beneath the bonds placed on their very existence as emotive, nurturing beings.

These injustices neither negate or belittle each gender’s pain. It's simply wounding at a species-deep level.

The time of balance has begun, with all genders beginning to feel the pain and seek to ease it. Difficult continuing conversations with many false starts and do-overs are happening.

Yes, the male gender has held ultimate power since the time of wise women and matriarchal societies was mercilessly crushed to a pulp. Yes, that is the ultimate truth slowly being brought to light as our history becomes declassified through the free spread of information.

But it's not the full breadth of the truth.

Understanding requires truth.

The flip side of that truth is young males have had their humanity shamed and stunted as they grew to manhood, a spiritual constriction as brutal as foot binding in its way. Only, their damage expressed itself internally with shrapnel ravaging their loved ones and community.

The ones in control crippled them, boys adapted to survive and then went on to continue the cycle that hobbled them. They suppressed the trauma of their emotional wings being broken beneath a learned pride in emulating their oppressors.

They were not given a choice until they were too grown to remember the joy of soft touch and loving action.

Does this excuse the unbearable destruction a predominantly male ruling class has forced upon our world for generations? By no means.

But it is fact.

And we can’t accelerate true gender equality while turning a blind eye to the once-upon-a-time little boys who were tortured and bound by a false model of masculinity.

Good men are doing their heart work in the face of hatred.

It takes a brave man to be meek, to wear the flamboyant colors his heart may long for, to relearn how to love effusively and openly.

Because they knew, they all knew how to love with all their hearts as children.

It’s still a risky thing in modern society for a man to coax his inner child out of hiding and allow it to shine through. The tenets of manly men in all their violent, cold brashness still cling like rust to our world.

The divine masculine is about not only polishing that rust away to reveal the original brilliance of souls, but also standing in fierce defiance of allowing it to tarnish the pristine hearts of new baby men.

It’s work they do in the face of prejudiced hatred from the sore hearts of indiscriminate man-hating women. In the face of an old regime that fears emasculation and shames them at every opportunity for what they fail to recognize as the very thing our species needs to thrive.

This is not a conversation that can be had without women, nor without untangling the generations-old injustices at the hands of grown men. But it’s one that requires women to lay down our pain, not to the side out of sight, but next to our brothers' pain.

It’s time to sit with each other as siblings of humanity, striving to accept others' truth and honor it. Because hearts aren’t won with continued variations of violence, but through understanding.

Man’s return to hearth and home.

All around, men are exploring what it means to be a good man, a full part of their families and relationships.

They are strangling themselves working their way into baby carriers and wraps, finding joy in sending mothers off to work while they become the stay at home caregiver. It’s now men with Daddy blogs and play groups, men who braid their daughters' hair with pride.

Men are hugging and cuddling their baby boys, teaching them that real men cry and are allowed the full beautiful range of emotion. They’re not only struggling to undo their own conditioning, but learning and instilling humanity in their children.

Even the older generations are tiptoeing into the conversation, in their own ways and at their own pace. Elder males are becoming more accepting of the fluidity of traditional gender norms and roles. A quiet wave of, “I don’t understand it, but I’m trying,” has begun to murmur across the conversation.

Those old warhorses of repressed humanity are valiantly using the wrong words and making epic social blunders in an attempt to understand this new breed of spiritually liberated male.

It is a beautiful thing. Adorable, really.

What responsibility do women have to our brothers?

What is not cute is the fact that as our brothers' minds and hearts open and become vulnerable, a culture of whiplash indiscriminate man-hating has festered and gained volume.

This accomplishes nothing, other than now it becomes women standing on the locking side of the door to equality. We as women hold the power over the conversation for the first time in long ages.

The question is what shall we do with it?

Will we emulate our oppressors and crush the spirit of the new males until they stop striving to honor their hearts? Or, will we stand strong in our truths while encouraging their climb back to their humanity?

The time has come to sit in each others' truths quietly, listening and observing in turns as we grow back into the best of our selves. It’s going to suck, it’s going to take forgiving micro missteps and misunderstandings.

It’s going to take seeing individuals instead of the ghosts of our oppressors, too.

But it is going to be so worth it. It already is.

Our division is quite profitable.

We’re in the age of information, slowly outgrowing divisive propaganda’s ability to control our species' narrative. We’re wising up to the prime-time manipulation of our media’s attempt to nurture controversy.

I invite you to take back control from the hype and marketable madness. To view your fellow humans as individual hearts worthy of understanding and support. To reject the worn-out soundbites of gender stereotypes and backlash.

It’s time to celebrate the age of the divine masculine as it pairs with the power of the rising divine feminine.

Balance in the hearts of blended humanity.

Written by

City mouse in a country house, training the trauma out of the family tree. Sharing 20 years of intentional observation with my kids and the eternally curious.

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