Mamta Mishra
Aug 24, 2017 · 3 min read

POWER OF REINFORCERS!

This is a chapter in my book Autism: Our Journey and Finding Happiness. I have written- “Never underestimate the power of reinforcer. In this chapter I have written how we have transitioned from primary or tangible praises and encouragements for Parag. Parag has reached a point where he loves compliments and he is ready to work hard to earn those. In my book, I have written- “As with any powerful tool, reinforcers have to be used judiciously to produce fast and successful results.” I standby to this statement, what we have done is instead of using compliments JUDICIOUSLY we have used it LAVISHLY.

Everyone has spoiled Parag with compliments and it has gone in his head. I will share some of the compliments all of us have been bestowing on him and their effects! “Parag you are so handsome”. “Parag, you look so handsome in your new shirt.” “Parag, you smell so good what cologne are you wearing?” “Parag, you look COOL in your sunglasses.”

Now let me share the effects of these compliments on him. I just bought some new clothes for Parag for the holidays but he put on his new t-shirt yesterday and when I said Parag “you should wear new clothes when we go out.” He said “HANDSOME.” I told him you look handsome in your old clothes too and he said “NO, THIS!” I couldn’t help laughing because I had never thought VANITY can be innocently charming!

Thanks to the compliments, Parag has figured out that he should smell good. After taking shower he sprays cologne very meticulously, under his arms and on his neck. He loves to wear his sunglasses, the first time he wore it, he went to my husband’s clinic at Fort Payne, the girls who work there smothered him with compliments that he looks so COOL in sunglasses! He fell in love with his sunglasses and refused to take it off, only when he went to sleep we could remove it. Now when he sees me wearing my sunglasses, he is ready to wear his also.

Parag knows handsome is a good thing, so he says “yes” to the compliment. I ask Parag to say “thank you.” Teaching humility indeed! Thanks to my friends and family for spoiling Parag with praises, it is not entirely their fault, we are equal partners in this crime! The result is- HE IS IN LOVE WITH HIMSELF! By the way, he admires himself in the mirror too and I believe if he were to ask “Mirror mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of all?” The magic mirror would say -Parag you are the fairest of all because of the innocence and love that shines through your smile. I believe the mirror will say the SAME TO ALL THE KIDS WITH AUTISM! INNOCENCE AND LOVE MAKES THEM BEAUTIFUL!

THOUGHTS- Compliments are amazing motivators for everyone including kids with autism. Everyone needs a pat on the back for a job well done, so do kids with autism. I know that compliments have the POWER to bring compliance and enthusiasm to learn in not only kids with autism but all kids.

(My book is FREE on www.audible.com, hope it will help those who are looking for some practical tips to fight Autism).

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Mamta Mishra

Written by

“Candle maker’s mother!” Writer, teacher, speaker. Trying to make World of Autism “HOPELESSLY HOPEFUL!” www.facebook.com/autismourjourneyandfindinghappiness1/

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